Am I on the naughty list?

Morgan asks us this every day. And the answer is yes most days.

We took the girls snowboarding on Monday with the rest of Colorado. Seriously, I overheard workers on the shuttle saying that it was a record day (in the history of the resort) of people. It definitely felt like it. So Aaron and I had this genius idea to all go up to the resort because Ava, Lore and Bryn can all go. We figured, I could take Morgan, Lore and Bryn sledding while Aaron teaches Ava. And then we would swap Ava for Lore and Bryn at lunch.

Of course the kids were crazy tired and complaining the whole time we drove up and that should have been a sign to turn around but that would have been smart. Then the resort was crazy packed. The kids didn't want to sled. Bryn swore her snowboard boots were too small. Whining times 100 (including from Aaron). Beatings all.

So when it is time to switch, we head to the restaurant in the lodge. We stood in line for 45 minutes to get food. And despite our devil day, the kids were really good while we crawled our way to the front of the line. But just before it is my turn to order, Morgan who is starving starts scavenging cold, boot-crushed french fries from off the ground. She was trying to chew as fast as possible so I couldn't spoon it out of her mouth. And then Lauren, who didn't eat breakfast because she was feeling car sick, tells me she's going to throw up and starts dry heaving...just as the girl behind the counter asks me what we want to order. I ordered napkins because Lauren has just puked bile and spit all over the floor. Then I ordered lunch and cleaned up the puke. Seriously.

At this point, Aaron and Ava find us and rescue me from a total nervous break down. What a day.

Christmas tear down sidebar: Today, I took down all the Christmas deco. As I pulled the garland from the mantle, Morgan (very pathetically but sincerely) asked Aaron, "Does this mean Christmas is over?" It broke my heart to tell her yes.

Oh you're going to like my chicken

So yeah...2011. Less than a day away. I looked at my goal list from 2010. I finished 9 of the 12. And the remaining three are just taking a little longer to finish. Not too shabby. The one a month seemed to work for me. So here she is in all her glory.

Brooke's Super-Awesome-You-Wish-You-Were-Her Goal List for 2011

[jan] Switch banks. I can read your thoughts: retarded goal. True. But we're still at Bank of Medieval Times and we need to switch. Suckers, once you have all your online banking set up, it makes it difficult to pull the plug.

[feb] finish decorating my house. We've been functional for too long. I need to finish the details. I plan on doing a room a month.

[mar] writing conference/ query a manuscript.

[apr] run half marathon with Sunny & Kendra, then the Bolder Boulder in may, another half in July, and the Southlands 5k in Sept.

[may] at least booked a trip from TravelZoo (our new fave website).

[june] be a better listener to kids and Aaron (accounting of improvement by june).

[july] do more one-on-one adventures with the girls. Aaron's good about daddy/daughter dates, I need to be too.

[aug] be more organized with kids/ homework/ school. Ava starts and that's time I've got to split between 3.

[sept] finish manuscript 2 & 3. Query all three scripts by sept.

[oct] serve others more (accounting in oct).

[nov] read at least 20 middle grade novels.

[dec] more consistently read my scriptures and the Ensign (not just the VT message and conference issues).

Also, we just went to d Bar again with some friends. My friend and I are determined to become regulars at d bar in 2011.

Ho yeah

So Christmas has come and gone. It was a good one. Christmas Eve we followed the usually itinerary:

• Eating PF Changs
• Acting out the Nativity (Ava did not want to be the shepherd this year. Maybe she'll get Mary next year. It's tough when you have an all female cast and only one lead woman part.)
• Putting on the new christmas PJs and hanging their Santa ornament.
• Driving the neighborhood in search of Griswald houses. We found the ultimate house this year. We're pretty sure you could see it from space. It was like a beacon of christmas spirit. It had animatronics, a USA flag, the nativity, a carousel, the works.
• Watching Joy to the World.
• Then Aaron and I hung out till ten waiting for the older two to get to sleep. We were pretty fast this year and got to bed before 1a.

Something new we added this year to the Christmas Eve routine: we went ice skating at Southlands. They have a great outdoor rink. The girls had never been (mostly because they are squirrels on roller skates so we figured ice skating would be a disaster). Lauren and Bryn took to it really fast. They had cones for the kids to push around the rink to get use to it. Lore only needed two laps and she was off on her own. Bryn never let go of the cone but she was hauling tookis. Ava was a hot mess. She looked like the spider on roller skates from Harry Potter. She almost took Aaron out several times. Morgan didn't get to skate but she scooted around a couple of times in just her shoes and then we got hot chocolate. Good times.

Christmas day highlights:

• The girls slept in till 8a. Then Aaron tortured them for another 20 minutes getting cameras ready and such before they could come down.
• Squeals and shaky hands. Morgan was so excited opening gifts her hands wouldn't stop shaking.
• Princess overload but kept them busy all day.
• Playing Wii wipeout and indoor bocce with the girls.
• Heading over to the Cannons for friendly christmas dinner and fun.
• Curling up with aaron and watching Inception. Sweet.
• Getting a new laptop for Christmas. That's right, I'm on the couch typing this right now. Oh how I've missed this.

You want to eat food. You know, the code.

While in Tx and waiting for Aaron to get out of meetings, I had to eat lunch. So I debated my options: table for 1 or food court at some mall.

When waitressing in Texas many many years ago, lots of people came in for lunch by themselves. They would talk on their phone (if they had one) or read a book. I thought this was odd at the time. Reading and eating at a restaurant. Restaurants are for social eating. Of course I understood why they would be by themselves. I just couldn't comprehend doing it. I saw it as a complete expression of self confidence.

So I decided to do it. I had a sit down lunch at a Thai restaurant in downtown Dallas. I fought the urge to pull out my phone or grab my book from my purse. I kept telling myself: I'm secure enough with myself and my own thoughts. I can enjoy a lunch by myself...even with a couple on a date next to me. Their lunch was more awkward than mine. I felt bad for the girl.

So I did it. What did I discover:

• Lunch by yourself is weird.
• I had enough self confidence to do it.
• I don't plan on doing again...at least if I don't have to.
• Restaurants are a social place.

work is your favorite, make work your new favorite.

While Aaron slaves away at budgets, I just licked my last Christmas card. That's right, I'm sending them out tomorrow (which I consider on time). So my tongue is numb. Goal for 2011 Christmas card: a family picture. We just did the girls this year because taking pictures with this lot is excruciating. Notice, not all my kids are even looking at the camera. Suckers. So we're two days away from Christmas fun and itineraries. I still need to get snacks for stockings but other than that, I'm golden. Overall I'm feeling very over spent. Even though I've kept to the 3 gift policy...sorta.

This week has been a bit of a blur but with benefits. (We've slept in till after 8 a every morning. I feel spoiled.) Morgan and Ava are going to get their 3rd strike note from the elf tonight--I'm debating coal for Christmas. They knew the stakes.

Aaron is planning to take Lore and Bryn snowboarding tomorrow. And little Ava is getting a board for Christmas. It's an 80--crazy small, super cute.

And yeah, this concludes my random disjointed thoughts. Merry Christmas.

Car sidebar: Aaron got his Jeep. It's in the blood, really.

smiling is my favorite

I have to accept that I will not reach my blogging goal of at least one more than last year. What can I say, life has been too busy. Which is a shame really, because the blog is my only journal. And I still can't for the life of me remember Ava's first words. We just tell her it was Da. But we don't know. Awful, right?

Tomorrow I'm throwing my annual festivus with girlfriends. This year for feats of strength, I'm making them compete in a variety of Silent Library challenges (one of my favorite things of 2010). If they refuse to participate, I have a cone of shame to put on them and then will give them a teddy bear beat down. I'm giving out sweet prizes for the winners and socks for the losers. (Because it socks to lose--I know, crazy Senior Dich pun. Pithy is the best way to describe it.)

I'm officially done with everything Christmas, including teacher gifts. Boo Yeah. Except Christmas cards. I gotta suck it up and do them. I have no excuse this year.

A couple of weeks ago, Aaron totaled his truck (blowout on the tollway. He destroyed the median.) and now he has to decide if he wants another company car or buy something else. Something else = Toyota F150 or Jeep Wrangler 4 door. I'm leaning the obvious jeeply way but this is his choice.

3 days till winter break. No snow...we haven't been able to sled yet. It keeps melting before the kids get home from school. Next week is suppose to be beautiful. We went to the park today and the kids were too hot to wear their coats. Crazy.

definitely on business...monkey business

Aaron had a work party...in Texas. Spouses were invited. So we booked a babysitter and hopped on a plane to Texas yesterday morning (up at 5a for anyone who is counting). We got into Dallas early because Aaron had meetings all day. What did I do while he sat in long meetings? I grabbed a cab and went shopping, got a manicure and pedicure, worked out, and relaxed. I felt like I was living the dream of Tina Fey from Date Night. And it was everything I knew it would be. Did I call and check on the kids? Nope.

The Red Bull party started at 6:45 at the House of Blues and didn't end till 1am. (That's 6 hours in 4 inch heels. My feet were toast by the end of the night.) They had some up-and-coming country rock band and all the trimmings. We were a long way away from OGIO. Aaron works with a lot of great people and it was fun to attach faces to the names and stories.

And now were home.

yeah, that's right.

"Steven Seagal is the new Woody Allen."

And now we're back from outerspace

We just returned from a fabulous California Thanksgive-a-thon vacation. But I'm too exhausted to talk about it right now. I put Morgan in Airport Baby Jail (patent pending). Yeah. Baby jail (a tall barricade of suitcases). That awesome. More later. smooches.

weird

The other day, I took the kids to the park. Then the tornado siren started to wail. The sky was blue. But then a few hours later: 3 inches of snow.

Mosses sidebar: Sending lots of prayers to the Mosses this week. I'm sick to my stomach.

Just cinch it

My friend and I carpool to school. She does the morning and I pick up. Today, Lauren was particularly chatty and my friend called to share the conversation:

"Yeah, everyone in my family wants to go to BYU. Well, except for Bryn. She doesn't want to go to BYU."

"What do you want to do after college?"

"Oh, I don't know. Work at the Gap or something."

Really?!!

"Ewwww. Mom, my bucket smells like meat."

[Her halloween bucket. Really? Really. Morgan's nose is double O C. out of control.]

Sunflower seed sidebar: Coming home from Garden of the Gods, Aaron was munching on sunflower seeds. Morgan, who was sitting right behind him, kept saying, "Eeeewww, Dad, I can smell your nuts." Aaron and I couldn't stop laughing. Yeah we need to grow up.

Get candy!

So last night, we did the trick-or-treat treasure hunt. We had an hour & a half to hit three neighborhoods. We were driving from house to house following clues (or a map of what house was closest). Morgan, determined to be a big kid, hauled herself in and out of the car. She's not built for speed or agility and didn't have the more-candy-fire under her butt like Lore and Bryn. This drove the older girls crazy. After about 45 minutes of hauling their heavy pails in and out of the car, I convinced them to leave the pails and just run and get the candy. This helped with Morgan's speed (but not by much). Still, it was a good time.

Of course, a husband who will not be named gave Morgan a Halloween stamp. I confiscated it at the next house when we discovered Morgan had stamped her face and arms (then smeared the ink) till she looked like a filthy black coal mining Snow White. Genius.

But by far the funniest moment of the night. It was our last house (I had never been to their house before), it was dark, and we were searching for the pumpkin sign outside the door. The girls spot a bunch of kids in costume running up to a house. So I assumed it was the house and dropped the kids off. They're gone for awhile. When they come back, Lore says, "Mom. That wasn't the house. Those people were just having a Halloween Party. They said we were trick-or-treating early."

"Did they give you candy?"

"Yes, but they had to go get it."

I love that they waited for the candy. A 13 yr old would have run to the car with embarrassment.

There's a party in my tummy

so yummy. so yummy. [Throw your hands in the air like you don't care. Now stop.]

My new favorite restaurant in Denver: d Bar. It is a dessert cafe. Sophisticated desserts. Casual environment. Sophisticated casual dining: it does exist. It is open till midnight on weekends. We had to wait a half hour to get in at 10pm. Worth every minute.

Also, Cinnamon Bun Popcorn. I've been making it all week for friends and family...but mostly for me.

Quite pointy in parts

We took the kids to Garden of the Gods down in The Springs (Colorado Springs) yesterday. Such a cool place. If you're ever here, I highly recommend it. We took the kids on two hikes and they loved every second...until Ava fell going up a hill and landed on a cactus. A cactus. It was like something out of a Looney Tunes cartoon. Poor kid had tiny barbed spikes all over her hand. Brutal. She toughed it out and I think we got all the spikes. We're going to go back with the kids and do a harder hike. Even Morgan was able to do the 2.5 miles like a champ.

Trick or Treat Treasure Hunt sidebar: We're going on one in 2 hours. We're hitting about 25 houses in our ward. As if we haven't been on a sugar high since the trunk or treat last week.

Eww. Who pooped in their panties?

Morgan could not stop saying that all week. Apparently she has a super sniffer this week and everything stinks.

On Sunday, we did it. We officially became Coloradans: we fulfilled the requirement of vacationing at Mt. Rushmore. A bit random but everyone we know here has gone or plans to go because it is awesome. Seriously, it is awesome. We had the best time.

Let the record show that Mt. Rushmore is a huge tourist trap, but crazy family friendly which makes for good times with the kids. And because it is off season, everything was empty. We loved it. Yes we were a bit cold at times (we may have seen snow) but it was nothing hot chocolate couldn't fix. What we did:

Mt Rushmore (of course). We were one of maybe ten cars there, so it felt like we had the whole mountain to ourselves. There is a fun walking trail up to the monument that the girls ran full speed and we didn't have to stress because (did I mention this) no one was there.

Custer National Park + Needles. We drove the park loop. Buffalo, mountain goats, elk, and deer. Caves and the cool Needles area. These rocks are amazing.

Custer City. Half of it was shut down for off season but good times.

Watiki Indoor Water Park. This was connected to our hotel. I felt like a ten-yr-old kid. I love water slides. Lore and Bryn were loving the huge slides too. Even Ava went down with Aaron. I love that our kids are getting old enough to do this stuff. So fun.

Bear Country USA. Sweet. If I had had the courage to roll down my window, I could have petted an arctic wolf. But I didn't dare. Those things are big and mean. They were pacing the electric fence just watching the reindeer.

Reptile Gardens. This is where Morgan freaked out because the reptiles were too stinky. She walked the entire exhibit holding her nose asking who pooped in their panties. She did unplug to pet the albino python.

Look, I have chuugakaba glasses

Bryn just made a halloween letter for a friend. It reads:

I hop you will hav a grat tim trich or trexing. I kat go decus I am mooving a way to mexico.

[translation]
I hope you will have a great time trick or treating. I can't go because I am moving away to Mexico.

I wonder what's in Mexico.

chuugakabas sidebar: that's how Ava says chupacabra. How does she know about chupacabras? Scooby-doo.

Up there. If you think, you're dead.

Today I took the kids to the Anderson Farms Pumpkin Patch/ Corn Maze Extravaganza. The girls more than enjoyed themselves:

• hay bale maze
• pumpkin playground
• petting zoo
• tractor ride
• train ride
• peddle carts
• corn maze

good times....until the corn maze. I was in the rear with the slower 3 yr olds while my friend managed the older lot. I glanced over at Morgan and she was clenching her cheeks and had the ultimate oops-I'm-gonna (crap my pants). I asked (more to confirm), "Morgan, what's wrong?"

"I'm gonna poo it." Shear desperation. We're deep in a maze.

So I did what any good mother would do. I grabbed her and dove off the path into the corn, dropped her pants and squatted her into position. She let it fly. I wiped her with dry husks, covered her fertilizer in dead corn and husks and walked away.

Sure some of you may judge my decision. I have no regrets. You weren't there. Sometimes there are casualties in potty training.

I'm not worthy. I'm not worthy.

I need to make a public apology to my sweet sister Megan. I thought her christmas rotation was random but now understand it is by birthday order. This makes sense. Aaron did not see it. And I should have known better. But I was an English major and not the math genius I believe I am. Did I mention I solve Rubik's cubes. Yeah, so I should have seen the order. I denounce my power nerd status for not seeing the logic. I love you girlfriend.

it's beginning to look a lot like....

Halloween.

But I'm Christmas shopping and I'm half done. Crazy I know. It seems ridiculous when I say it out loud, but I love being done before Thanksgiving so that I can enjoy the holiday.

I already have my sister Amber's family half done (and it is choice. My family does a gag gift exchange.) I have my in-laws done (this is always the hardest one) so I'm feeling pretty sweet. And now that Aaron's family has (controversially) moved to a sibling exchange, I only have one more Favero to shop for. . .it would be easier to remember who we have this year if sweet Megan had created a user-friendly system of exchange. But instead she went with the ultimate randomizer and I need Aaron to tell me who we have (once he digs deep into his email archive). Smooches, Megan.

I have all my stockings planned out...Aaron I'm in a debate about. And the kids, well, they don't want anything particular this year so they may be an easy crap shoot. All the same, I feel good because I'm confident I'll be done in just a few weeks.

Now I just need to wrangle the kids for a family photo so we can do cards this year. I skipped it last year because it was just one more thing. But then great grandmas heaped unintentional guilt on us when they told us they read our Christmas cards all the time. I'm a swine grandchild. Maybe I'll put together a great grandma care package this year.

Aaron sidebar: he gets home tonight after a long week in New Orleans. I've got a babysitter for tomorrow so we can paint the town. But if he's suffering from manopause or the grumpies I'm going to give him a smack bottom.

boo yeah

This Friday to kick off Fall break, we're having a Halloween late over for the girls. We will be playing games & pranks & eating spooky food. My new fave food blog: The Best Bites is supplying the menu:

• mummy dogs
• monster apples
• dirt & worms pudding
• witches hats
• caramel apple cider

Now if I can just get through today....

This porridge is too hot

[let me set the scene]
Today we had our Primary Program Practice/ Pizza Party. Aaron also had his huge event in the city, so Morgan tagged along with me and the girls. Since she's now potty trained, I had to take a break from the practice to take her to the potty.

The church bathroom has three stalls (one is handicapped).

[action]

"Mom this potty is too big." Morgan walks out of the handicapped stall. My fave to use with the kids. She walks to the next stall.

"Oh! Mom, this potty is too smelly." The seat was up. She walks to the last stall.

"This is good." I smile and help her on.

[end scene]

workin up a sweat.

What a week. I'm running (literally, I've decided to train for a half marathon...next summer + 2 10Ks). I'm herding cats (4 crazy cats). And tonight I'm getting with some girlfriends to put together a lip sync to Salt n Pepper's Push it (radio mix). We're making it a parody about pushing babies all day and night. And often it feels like bullshhhhhhhh. But it's worth it. The lip sync party is tomorrow night. It should be hilarious. I wanted to do lady gaga with Aaron as lady gaga but he has an event tomorrow. He's not sad that he's missing it.

Silly bands are my new nemesis and friend. I hate them. They're ridiculous. Did I mention they are retarded expensive. But the kids will work for silly bands. I've never had it so posh. Lore and Bryn kept their room clean all week (I didn't have to say a word) for a single band and did hoards of extra chores to earn a single band. It might be slave labor but I'll cash in while the fad is hot.

true that.

"Mom, are there going to be dinosaurs at the petting zoo?"

"No, Ava."

"Oh yeah, I remember now. They're dead."

Peace! You will have no peace.

Recently I read The Good Earth which follows the life of a Chinese farmer. Toward the end of book, the old farmer just wanted peace. Peace with his family, time to relax, and a quiet existence. When I was reading it, I thought enough with the peace already. We get it.

Today I really get it. It is conference weekend and as I battle my children for peace so I can hear the prophet, all I want to scream is: can I get a little peace? 2 hours. Is that too much to ask. We passed out conference activity packets to the kids at church but my girls blew through their packets during the first Saturday session. Only one more session. I can do this. I can do this.

elevator to coolness

I need one today. I'm feeling very mediocre at the moment and it frustrates me to no end.

I got you. I got you.

This weekend Aaron had his mega event: Moto of Nations. (Aaron was in charge of a huge portion of this. He got man-hugs from his bosses. Man-hugs are a good indicator of how much they like him.) I snuck away to meet him and enjoy the VIP area. I'm not really into Motor cross but I have respect for the guys that do it. Crazy. My heart always goes out to the guy who gets lapped. What's crazier to me is the price for these events. 150$ a head...to sit in the hot sun on the grass (or dirt) getting coated in a layer of filth. Sure the races are cool but 150! I can spend 150 on a lot of things that aren't sweaty or dirty.

wallet sidebar: it's missing. I'm 95% sure one of the kids took it. They all have conflicting stories that involve some guilt but no one will confess. And no one will retrieve it for me. So I get to search the house with a comb tomorrow. Wish me luck.

sister, so, you have a sister

My sister Amber is the luckiest person I know. She is winning stuff like crazy right now. I need a trip outta here. I need some of her mojo today. But I'm married to Aaron who blocks all luck from our home. Tears. smooches.

You can't say bomb on a plane

Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb. This year I planned to have all extras on Tuesdays. Was this wisdom or madness, I'll let you decide? Today's itinerary:

7a: wake, get ready, breakfast.
8a: homework & guitar practice.
9a: My turn to teach Joy School.
11:45 a: Send joy kids home.
12p - 2p: Presidency meeting (program & next year's teacher roster)
2:15p: I finally take a shower.
3:30p: Pick up kids from school.
4p: guitar lessons & kid herding (the best, Jerry, the best).
5p: dance for lore.
5:15p: shove food into the other 3.
5:45p: dance for bryn.
6p: grocery store.
6:45p: pick up dancers.
7p: drop kids off & go to RS activity
9p: get home and blog to you.

Shew. Of course, the rest of the week is golden. So maybe not so bad, right? Ava has her dance class tomorrow. Her first. She's so excited.

mom. mom. come smell me.

Mmmm. minty.

I want pie. I want beef jerky.

I wish my life read like this: Kittens inspired by kittens. So passionate. So true.

marriage has brought us together today

Thirteen. years. That's like a bazillion dog years. Sometimes it feels like forever ago and then sometimes it feels like yesterday. Smooches for my best friend (even if he didn't like Mockingjay--my feelings were mixed on it too).

You got served

Bailey, our dog of many talents and mischief, has been escaping through our backyard rod iron fence. This was a headache...until Aaron took her to doggy school and the trainer said not to get an electric fence or collar. Instead he recommended a dog life vest (for boating, ridiculous. People buy these things. I don't love my dog enough to buy her a life vest.)

Anyway, so we got one and sure enough, she could no longer shimmy through the bars. So for a couple of weeks the dog hung out all day in a life vest. Our neighbors thought we were boating a bunch, but then we explained and had a laugh. She looked ridiculous but problem solved. This week, she officially grew big enough that she no longer requires the vest. She's too big to fit. Yeah, she's going to be a huge dog. We also took down the chicken-wire fence that served as her ladder before the vest.

mockingjay sidebar: tomorrow. I so excited. I called B&N just in case they were doing a midnight sale. The sales associate that answered the phone asked for the name of the book again and the author. (The windows of B&N are plastered in mockingjay. No wonder they're struggling.) I was so shocked I almost shouted "Blasphemy!" But my manners held my tongue. I mean, I know they sell a lot of books but you can read the words mockingjay all over the store. Know your industry. Or just look up and around your store.

I just re-read catching fire cuz I'm a nerd, yo. So good. I'm ready. Sunny: get crack'n. Amber, Livy: for shame. get crack'n.

Back to school, back to school

School started this week. So far, Lore and Bryn love their teachers. This is always good. Lauren feels jipped because she only gets one recess and Bryn feels like she won the lottery because she gets two. (Kindergartners don't get recess here, it is all business.) And Morgan and Ava love the extra time and attention. We went to the pool today and were the only ones there. We played dragon. Good times.

So Tuesday, the second day of school, I dropped Bryn and Lore off right by the 1st grade entrance. Feeling very big kid, Bryn decided she did not need me to walk her to her class line up. She hopped out and charged toward all the 1st graders. Thinking she was okay, I started to pull away but then out of my side mirror I saw a bawling Bryn sprinting toward the car. Her teacher wasn't outside yet and she couldn't remember where her class lined up. I re-parked and walked her to her line. She clung to me and sobbed. The little boy in front of us turned around and started to comfort bryn:

"Don't cry. 1st grade isn't scary. Yesterday I was scared too but then I went and it was really fun. 1st graders don't cry. It's okay in Kindergarten but not first grade. You'll be okay. Remember we had fun yesterday."

Such a sweet kid. So I said, "Thank you for being so kind. What's your name?"

Before he can reply, Bryn answered, "his name is Joey."

Then the boy said, "Actually it's Ben."

So I said, "Thank you Ben." Then the teacher came and she's walking down the line saying hi to all the kids. When she got to Ben, she said, "Hi Joey."

Surprised, I said to the teacher, "He told me his name is Ben."

She laughed and said that she had asked the kids, the day before, to tell her if they wanted to be called a different name. Like if there name was Joesph but they go by Joey. But little Joey had decided he wanted to go by Ben. She said she needed to reword how she asks for nicknames next year.

Then a dad behind us said, "His name was Joey last year."

Joey, of course, is listening very quietly as we're having this conversation. I see his head sag a little. So once the teacher passed, I shook Joey's hand and said, "it was very nice to meet you Ben." His smile grew bigger than his face.

I love children.

Independent sidebar: I've decided to no longer be an Independent. I'm unofficially joining The Bear Party.

I am still geeking out

Last night Aaron and I finally saw Inception. (I know, we're a bit late to this party. Mostly because I hate LDC. Look at him and his little baby face. Cred: he can act.) Even with LDC, we loved this movie. I want to know how they made the whole hotel sequence--crazy. I rarely feel compelled to see a movie twice in the theater...but this one I did. I could have run back into the 10:10p show to witness it again. We didn't because we live in the rational world but that's how wicked awesome this movie is.

I even dreamed about inception last night. We came from the snow level into my dream level...sweet. But then I got a "kick" from Ava.

I am a passenger on the spaceship Earth

Christian is married to Amy. Aaron's brother finally did it. Hence the trip to Utah. The wedding was a couple of weeks ago now and it was a blur of excitement and family. We got there on a Thursday and stayed through the weekend plus another week. And yet it was a fury blast of fun everyday. As I was recapping the wedding/favero weekend for my parents, my parents were blown away from all the stuff we did in such a short time. Faveros love fun. And they pack it on. When I was first married, I needed a vacation to recover from Favero vacations. But now I'm use to it. Here is the whirlwind:

Wed Night (the pre-story gives context)
We left Denver at 7p for our Northern route drive to Utah. (We left at 7 because Aaron had got home from the airport at 5p.)
1 am we stop at Little America in Wyoming.
Ava, from a bad wake up in the car, refuses to go potty and go to bed.

Thursday
8a: We're back on the road.
9:30a: Morgan begins puking and doesn't stop till we get to my parents house. She tossed over ten times. Morgan and car rides don't mix.
10:30a: We stop at Brugge Waffle & Frites in SLC for Gauffes.
11:30a: Finally settled in Highland at the parents (who were in Yellowstone) and negotiated with Bryan on what we do next.
1p: Scera pool with Bryan, Jamie & kids.
4p: Showers for all.
5p: Hit Utah County rush hour on our way to the wedding dinner.
6p: Wedding dinner at the Sky Room with loads of family and friends.
9:30p: Finally leave Sky Room...tired kids in tow.
11p: lights out kids.

Friday
8a Out the door to go to wedding in new draper temple.
8:30 swap kids into flower girl dresses
9a: wedding. beautiful.
10a ish: pictures. it is heating up. Morgan is melting down.
11a: head to Provo for family lunch.
1p ish: scramble around to create a honeymoon kit for Christian and Amy.
4p: head back to Provo to hang with family.
7p: reception at Springville Art Museum...so fun. They had a lemon theme. So all the desserts were lemon inspired. Delicious.
10:30p: leave reception.
11:30p: lights out kids.
(Aaron and I plan to hang out but we pass out on couches.)

Saturday
(we 86ed the Days of 47 parade...it was close, we almost got up at 6a for this.)
9 or 10a: Head to Snowbird to do Alpine slides. The kids loved this. We didn't realize Snowbird had so much to do for families in the summer. Zip lines, trails, bungee tramps, rock climbing, rope courses, etc.
2p: We skip lunch and go to Nelson's Frozen Custard in SLC. (This is a long standing Favero tradition.)
3p: Brugge Waffles & Frites. Blazing hot sun, hot waffles, hot frites...not the most pleasant. Grannie suggested we go over to Pioneer Park to eat because at least there was shade. I rarely say no to my Mother-in-law, but there was no hesitation this time. She wasn't aware of the Pioneer Park culture.
4p: head to Provo to hang.
5p: Bowling at BYU and games in the lounge.
7:30p: Dinner at the Creamery on Ninth.
9p: Hug Faveros good bye.
10p: lights out kids.

Sunday:
We took Aaron to the airport to fly home to Denver. He had high adventure with the YM the following week. So the kids and I decided to hang in Utah another week.

Thus concludes the Favero Wedding/Family Weekend. Tons of fun, tons of tired. Good times, good times.

Today is a yellow day

"Black and Brown are sorta monsters. They gobble up the other colors."

The gum on the railings is not free candy

Morgan is more foul than Bryn. This is how I know:

She loves gum. She isn't picky. All-ready-been chewed gum is the most available to her. Where she has pulled it from:

• Out of the trash in a Wendy's bathroom. (Trash cans are a repository of deliciousness to Morgan.)
• Off of the floor at the BYU bowling alley.
• Off of the tire of our car. That's right. Chewed, then smashed, then gritted with road filth. Perfection.

I told you. Way worse than Bryn.

delicious again Peter

So in my quest for sophisticated casual, I was reflecting on our recent trip to Utah (post coming soon) and I realized I have encounter a said sophisticated casual dining experience...not a restaurant but an item purchased at The Brugge Waffles & Frites (300 S. SLC, across from Pioneer [ghetto] Park). In the blazing hot sun, we had ordered San Pellegrino Aranciata (orange). Delicious and sophisticated. But served in a can. Casual.

I'm definitely on to something.

Lore sidebar: She loves to help me cook. Yesterday we made honey-lime chicken (BBQ) green beans, and low-fat, low-cal lemon bars (to die for). She's decided that now she wants to be a chef.

Entrepreneur sidebar: (I'm full of these ideas.) Chef school in Provo. So the aspiring chefs with good values can study with the best but still surround themselves with great kids. Provo lacks one. I'm willing to take on the challenge. So Venture Capitalists out there: lend me your money and I'll spin you an incredible business plan.

today sidebar: Morgan and Ava woke up with the stomach flu. At one point I was holding two buckets under two retching heads. It is going to be a great day.

of course you do, swan dive.

A new life goal:

To become a lead critic of sophisticated casual dining.

[One of the judges on Chopped had the title and I think it's an achievable absurd goal. How does one define something as sophisticated yet casual? Is it a blazer-and-jeans sorta place? This is something I'm willing to discover.]

My favorite animal is pooppies

I binged again. This time on new books. Nine new books stacked neatly in my to-read book stack. All middle grade.

I watched Bryn mauling the dog yesterday. The dog is good about taking her abuse. But then I realized: this is how Bryn shows love. So I grabbed her and bundled her up in my arms and mauled her. She loved every minute. Of course Lore got jealous and came to rip Bryn from my arms. But Bryn just crawled back for more mauling. I'll need to maul her more often.

Morgan swims! Yesterday we had a break through at the pool. Morgan finally figured out how to hold her breath, float, and kick her feet at the same time. She plunges all over the shallow end (scaring many of the moms coddling their toddlers) and floats till she can't hold her breath any longer. To the untrained eye, you would think she was dead. But then she emerges, takes a new breath and plunges again. So I took her to the deep end, and pulled her off the steps, release her kung fu grip from my fingers and watched her swim 5 feet on her own. At first she freaked. But then we did it for another hour.

Ava in turn is now a dolphin. I won't have to keep an eagle eye on her next year. I'm so close to relaxing pool time, I can taste it.

corn nuts?

I'm binging this week on books. I've shirked more than one duty to read:

• The Ranger's Apprentice books 2 & 3.
• And now I'm half way through The Book Thief. (I've been hesitant to read this gem because I've heard mixed reviews on the writing style. But now that I've plunged in I actually love the voice and the style. Unique and entertaining. I was hooked from the first page.)

Why the binge? Why not? And because I have an itch to buy more books but my to-read pile had to drop a few before I could justify it. Now that there are only 3 books in my to-read stack in the book room, I'm spit polishing my B&N card. Of course I need to get Ranger's Apprentice 4-8 and some others.

I know: Ranger's Apprentice? It's a 100 and 75 % hi-fantasy boy book. But fully entertaining and well written. Great for summer. I'm licking them up.

Oh and this is my new favorite book blog: Bookshelf Porn. The name is offensive but the content is heaven on earth.

corn nut sidebar: we bought some this week at Sprouts. I forgot that corn nuts are yuuuuuumy.

It goes down smooth

Wow what a week. My life is flashing before me and I can barely catch my breath. Family arrived last friday for a whirlwind weekend. A understated recap of the highlights:

1. Grannie Patsies and Pa Pop pops. Cousins of fun and Ry & Christy to boot. Always a good time.
2. Lauren's baptism (technically #1 but I'm writing this chronologically). We got there 30 mins beforehand to find out the font had not been filled. Luckily, the Bishop had a dream that it wouldn't be filled and showed up 15 minutes early. So we moved the program to the Primary room and by the time Lore was ready to be baptized, the font was full...enough--Aaron had to kneel down. Pa and Grandma Patsy did a fabulous job on their talks and I think Lauren felt really special. The highlight for the kids: the watermelon cookies that tasted like hand soap....still, they were all eaten by the end of the weekend.
3. 4 hours of pool fun.
4. Pop Pop playing the piano for Primary on Sunday.
5. Aaron BBQing in a rainstorm that wouldn't relent.
6. Gutter sledding.
7. Ry's Kansas fireworks. The Fiesta is worth every penny--even in the rain.
8. The funnel game times 5 kids. All victims. They know this game. Luke's face priceless but I was filled with guilt for a few seconds.
9. Categories with Ava. She got a face full of water and then she quit the family (for the second time that day).
10. Walking the dog in the rain.
11. Lore and Grannie filling out the baptism book.
12. Geo Caching with the wilsons. Go Halle for finding the bolt.
13. Watching Pa try to cope from all the kid noise. All in all, he was a good sport.

I'm sure there is more that I'm forgetting. It was a great 4th weekend...minus+plus the rain.

We also saw Jenny and kids on tuesday. Love that girl. Love her kids.

And it is official: I've officially publicly but not offensively cussed the dog. She climbs the fence, wiggles through the bars and get out of the yard every chance she gets. We can't even let her out to go potty. She just makes a dash to escape. So the past few days have included a lot of dog sitting which makes me cuss. Aaron is going to set up a shock collar perimeter on Saturday. We don't know what else to do until she's too big to fit through the bars. She's killing me. I've got another day of dog sitting. I'm over the dog. I still like her, but I'm over it.

guilty as charged

I'm a dirtbag. I don't read nienie. I know. Dirtbag. I get the story. Respect. Completely. I just can't get into it. Every time I've clicked on it, I think "really? people love this." I know. I'm a dirtbag. I'll probably be hit by a tornado tomorrow for saying this out loud.

weekend sidebar: So the family comes tomorrow for Lore's baptism. I need to mop and clean the bathrooms but my lazy butt needs another hour. I should probably make Lore's program. I better go. smooches.

I happen to like white rabbits

After a long day at the pool, I rounded the girls up to head home. We piled into the car and jabbered about a bunch of things we needed to get done. Bryn was abnormally quiet but I just assumed she was preoccupied with something. When the garage door opened, I surveyed the people in the car to discover that Bryn wasn't in there. I have officially become my mother. I had left Bryn behind at the pool.

There is a family of bunnies that live on the club house grass. Bryn loves to chase them. She really can't leave them alone and I'm constantly tell her to come to the car. But for whatever reason, I had assumed she had gotten into the car. So while she was in pursuit of three bunnies, the rest of us had piled into the car and left.

By the time we doubled back, she had found her way down to the lifeguards. Red eyes and a pink nose. I felt horrible. We both made a promise. She would leave the bunnies alone and I would do a head count before leaving.

that's a double check check

"Best birthday ever." (and several squeals of delight and bouncing energy)

Lore approved.

I survived. Hiring a babysitter was the genius move. I actually sat in a chair at the pool...while kids were swimming. It was a taste of the good life. Only 3 more years till it will be my reality...my summer of george.

On tap for tomorrow: lunch, movie, ear piercing, and cherry fudge cake.

Morgan: "Mom, I have a birthday coming on."
Me: "Yes, in September."
Morgan: "Yeah, it's coming on."

I said What What in the

But seriously, Ry you've hooked us. Tosh.0. Funny. My mouth drops open half the time. Sometimes because the videos are so crazy like the guy who crashes on the pool table and other times for the nutty things he says. He has no boundaries.

I do do.

After a fast weekend in Utah, my life has been a spiral of thoughts and actions. (Because, hey, I'm a girl who loves action.) This week has mainly been getting ready for Lore's birthday, baptism, and other riparian diversions.

So I invoked the birthday rule of friend parties on 5, 8, 12, & 16. Some say this is a jip for the kids. Others recognize the value. Now that we're to yr 8, I'm mixed but staying the course. The upside, less parties. The downside, the parties have to be big since they really only get 4 friend parties. (Bryn's 5 was at Monkey Bizness--that's business with a Z cuz it's serious.)

So 8 is a really big deal...and I've been making it one. Ryan would be proud of my efforts. Lore is getting a whole birthday weekend. Right now the house is coated in streamers and balloons. Oh and Silly string will make an appearance sometime tomorrow. Lore's friends arrive tomorrow at 10a for a swim party/Wii Just Dance off/ pizza/games/treats/ gift bags/the works. Seriously. I'm bringing in a babysitter for brynavamorgan (of course Aaron has an event at the same time).

Then once the party ends at 2p, we need to run around baptism invites. We're inviting half the neighborhood. This is another thing in which I've been trying to find a balance. I've seen a bunch of baptisms this past year and there is a full spectrum of over-the-top to understated. I'm shooting for the middle. But even the middle is a lot of prep. I'm trying not to sweat it. The important thing is that she dunks under--not what the program looks like. (I do like the invites. smooches.)

Plus Sunday I have sharing time and of course the outline is vague for week 4. Love the outline, but whoever made it skimped on week 4. It is always combined with week 3 or says something like use your imagination. Not what I need this week.

And of course I'm finishing up a website for a friend. Swine flash. I'm getting better at it but it is retarded.

Plus dog.

Plus weekly roundup for the writing bug.

Plus rewriting Puddlejumpers.

Plus running.

Plus some more pluses.

Grow up lemon.

wipeout sidebar: The kids love this show. And I secretly openly love it too. Smooches.

Would you like one lump or two?

I like solving rubik's cubes. I'm getting better at it and can solve it in about a day. Every time I solve it, I put it up somewhere for a few days to bask in the accomplishment. Then I let Lore mess it up and I have another go. This last time Lore scrambled it, I only had time to solve the first two layers. Then Aaron and I went to the temple. I left the cube out on the counter. When we got home, I saw the cube on the counter and the last layer had been solved. So I said to the babysitter, "Hey, you solved the rubik's cube." I was impressed. Then she replied very-matter-of-fact, "Oh no. I peeled the stickers. It was driving me crazy." On closer inspection, I notice all the stickers had been peeled and loosely stuck back on the cube. I couldn't get upset because she was so honest about the whole thing. It didn't even occur to her that she probably shouldn't peel the stickers. So yeah, the stickers have fallen off. I need a new cube.

mi amigo

Bailey has officially ripped out and destroyed every plant in the garden. I'm not even mad. While Aaron was out of town I had too many things to keep alive: 4 kids, 1 puppy, 4 indoor plants, and a garden. One of them had to go. It was only a matter of time before I would have been responsible. So thank you Bailey for reducing the stress.

Oh you're going to buy my chicken

I got a bikini wax on Wednesday to celebrate pool season and to keep my life just a tiny bit simpler. It is nice, I recommend it...although I still feel a bit like a plucked chicken.

The first rule of cupcake club

Don't talk about cupcake club.

I have too much to talk about and not enough time or memory to get out all my thoughts. First, last week with Christy and kids was so fun. Lots of pool time, playing, and good times. Second, this week has been crazy. It is dance recital/rehearsal this week. Too much foo foo and fancy. Third, the dog is still a dog. No cussing but we're getting close. The dog nips a lot to play and she's bit Ava harder than she should. I put Scout down for much much less. Bailey gets a puppy-pass but I'm done with the nipping. Overall she's a great dog but it requires way too much puppysitting. AND I cleaned up poop today because Lore didn't have time to get it all before school and the lawns needed to be mowed. Not please. Aaron is owing me big time. Fourth, I can't remember the forth, but there is one. Maybe it will come to me later. Chow bellas.

run forest run

I ran the 10K today. So fun. Definitely going to do it next year. I ran the whole thing--slow and steady but I did it. Now I get to slow down and train for the 5k in September (easy but it has a brutal hill). Christy and kids come tomorrow. We're going to have a week at the pool and playing with puppy (still good, still no cussing), and having a dance off playing Wii Just Dance. (so fun with kids...not so much with Aaron. He doesn't like to get his groove on that much.)

Bailey's: so creamy and beige

So we've had Bailey for 4 days now and still no cussing. I'm more patient than I thought....and she's just a really great dog. It is the honeymoon period, of course. But she's only 7 weeks old, so she hasn't got to the I'm-a-crazy-dog stage. Plus, I've been reading a ton on how to train her and it is actually working. Crate training is going well. We've only had three accidents in 4 days. Not bad. The kids are scooping the poop and with all the walks the kids are wearing down too. (An unforseen bonus.)

But let me reiterate this is the honeymoon period, so I'll probably be cussing in a week or two. But maybe not. She's a lover. Not a nippy hyper dog.

dog

"Ahhhhhh! Mom, she licked me in the boogers."

true sadness

When Aaron worked at Ogio, there were (and still are) many Mormons that worked there. Aaron learned quickly that there were two types. Good and Jack. Most of the Jack Mormons paraded to be good in front of their families, but when they went on the road...well, they went on the road. Aaron worked with a bunch of non-members there too (good guys) but they had awful morals and habits: drinking, drugs, porn, strip clubs, etc. Aaron and the other Mormons were surrounded by it. And one of Aaron's co-workers took pleasure in taking down a perfectly good Mormon and turning them Jack. Why? To prove that Mormon men were just like all the other dirtbag men out there. And sadly, sometimes I think he's right.

One of the victims/Jacks (because he did make a choice to do it) was Crapo (pronounced: crape-o). Aaron watched Crapo go on the road, get drunk, and live it up. Then after months (maybe even a year) of catching him, Crapo's wife and kids left him. Crapo had chosen his new lifestyle (the one he perceived as cool) over his family. Then he spiraled: drugs, porn, women. He was accused of sexual harassment at work. We watched him self-destruct. He was eventually fired and floated between jobs and his new hard lifestyle. We were sad for him, for his family--all because of some stupid choices and a need to be accepted by people he thought were cool.

We just found out that Crapo committed suicide this week. My heart aches for his children and his ex-wife and his family.

the final countdown

In less the 24 hours we are going to have a dog...and it will be named Bailey. Which I guess is a fine name. Just not what I would name it. Cobra is a better name. I know, random. But at least it isn't a person's name. I struggle with naming animals with people names and vice versa. Sorry Max. And Uncle Rex.

I thought there was a chance she would be named Jealous. No luck. Maybe I can sway the kids toward Mamba.

silly rabbit, tricks are for kids

So we're having a few friends over on Saturday for a Jersey Shore party. Fun, huh? It backfired. None of our friends know what Jersey Shore is. I had to explain and then feel stupid because I can't look away when the show is on MTV. I have to stare. It takes my breath away.

Anyway, we're going to have a night of ridiculousness. I'm playing a ton of pranks. My toilets will be snapped. There will be a Mexican horse race. Victims all. They'll probably never come back but I will have had my fun. Moo hoo ahhh ahh ahhh.

I'm passing out Jersey Shore Name tags to all my victims. I found a sweet Jersey Shore Name Generator. My name: The Rack.

If you have any good gag games, send them my way.

scientists believe the first person to live to 150 yrs has already been born. I'm that person.

I'm obsessed with acai fruit bowls. We ate them in Santa Cruz and it was almost too easy to replicate.
What's in it: (bottom layer to top)
acai puree or acai juice frozen then slushed. I have to slush, none of the stores carry the berries.
granola.
strawberries, blueberries, bananas.
dash of cinnamon and nutmeg.

Then when you have it beautifully in your bowl, you mix it up with a spoon and enjoy. I've got Morgan and Ava hooked too.

perfect for breakfast or lunch.

it's a dead end

but it was the best weekend. Thursday night Aaron dropped me off at the airport. I boarded a plane kid-free and headed to Oakland to meet the Birch girls. (Corene, Toni, Shari, & Heather. We excused Heidi because of morning sickness.) Corene picked Shari, Heather, and I up and we drove to Corene's mother's house. Corene had little gift bags of goodies waiting for us on our beds, which included a cd of all the songs that reminded us of college. Soo cute. Then we talked for hours waiting for Toni and then we talked some more.

Friday, we spent the day in Santa Cruz and Capitola (my favorite NorCal city). Highlights: Acai fruit bowls, a picnic on the beach, getting pooped on (Oh yeah, a seagull nailed me in Capitola--it brought back memories of running from seagulls in Jr High during lunch.), the smell of eucalyptus, and just being with the girls. Old friends are a wonderful thing.

Saturday we went to San Francisco. We shopped in Chinatown and the mall, ate fish & chips on the wharf, browsed Ghirardelli, avoided a terrible bathroom, saw Coit tower and Lombard street, and finished the day off with delicious Indian food. After we went home, Corene needed to feed her baby and the rest of us decided to head to the store for some thank yous and such. That's when we got lost. That damn dead end that diverted us to outer Mongolia. After a short phone call, we found our way home.

Sunday, I flew home at 6am. It was a completely satisfying weekend. Two years till Phoenix.

In nature, fathers often eat their young. Is it because they're delicious? No.

It's because they are straight crazy. I can't wait to get outta here and leave Aaron to the banshees. It's going to be thunder dome: who will still be standing when I return? My money is on the kids. They took me down this week.

Just what I always wanted

4 inches of snow today. Seriously? Yeah.

SF sidebar: In just over 24 hrs, I will be headed to NorCal to hang with the Birch girls while Aaron battles it out with the kids. I so excited.

brava sidebar: yesterday while I was running on the treadmill, Ava opened a box of brownie mix and dumped it all over her bed. The best day ever.

no, lemon, my present is that ensemble you're wearing

I let Lauren dress herself for school, so she picks out her own outfits. Last week, she came into my bedroom wearing a striped polo (thick stripes of pink and navy) with bright thinly fruit striped leggings. She was a sight to behold. At first glance, Aaron said, "No Lore. Those don't go. Pick out a different shirt." Not trusting her dad, she asked me and I told her the two pieces didn't work. She wanted to wear the fruit stripe pants. So I told her to pick out a solid color shirt. The leggings are rainbow red, orange, blue, green, black, maybe yellow. She returned wearing a lilac dress over the leggings. With her red hair, she looked like pippy long stocking. Aaron and I exchanged looks again, but decided to let this ensemble pass.

It wasn't until I took Bryn to school later that day when I realized: it's class picture day. And of course Lauren will be on the front row. So I did what any mom would do. I ran money down to the school to make sure Lauren's project runway would be preserved in pictures.

Then I went home and called my mom. When I was in the 5th grade, I had demanded to wear a plaid shirt with a mismatching argyle sweater for class picture day. It's was hideous, but I was smiling with pride on the front row.

And now you just pulled landscaping duty

My children never tire. They don't take naps. They run, run some more, then run faster. They play at parks by themselves and with friends. They do not, under penalty of time out, ever stop. And then at the end of the day, they still have time to fight me on bed time. Lore & Bryn are great about going to bed, they just talk to each other all night. Last night we busted them at 9:30p. They now have a long list of chores for tomorrow. (Today was just too busy to fit in chores. Yeah, that crazy of a day.) And Ava & Morgan are little escape artists that don't give up till around 8 or 9p every night. We had to shut off the circuit breaker to their room (zero light) and reverse lock their door. At first Ava needed a "magic key" to pick the lock. Magic keys are an assortment of flat toys she finds in her room. Now she can do it with her mind. Seriously, there's no stopping her. Between her computer skills and mischief, she would make a great hacker or spy. Ava Rae, child spy. It has a nice ring to it.
Maybe I should list her services on Craigs List.

I need the pool to open. 4 more weeks. The pool is their cryptonite. They saw logs after 2-3 hours in the pool. Almost there. almost there. (Pull up, there's too many of them...yeah, I've been married to aaron too long.)

you're going to break us like wild horses.

Some days, I don't know who is more in control: me or the kids? One thing I do know is that I'm tired all the time, which is an indicator that the kids are ruling. Or do I just have a ton going on, and so naturally I wipe out. I can't decide.

I know this: it is the last week of soccer. Hurray. I made it. Mostly due to a lot of cancelled games and practices. Thank you Colorado weather.

I have exactly a day to figure out what to do for my mom and mother-in-Law for Mother's Day. Again, Aaron is zero help. Sometimes, a lot of times, I want to do nothing to help him realize he does nothing for these sorts of things. When did birthday/holiday/anniversary/special day thoughtfulness fall solely on me? Bryn's birthday is on Mother's Day too. I token-asked aaron for help. "I don't know," was his reply.

This Sunday, the YW are taking over Primary to let the teachers have a Mother's day break. It is one of the girl's personal progress goals. I hope it doesn't stress her out.

Oh, I hear the water running in the bathroom which is never good with Morgan and Ava. peace out.

Rumpelstiltskin

I'm not sure why I look forward to Friday. It's not like the weekend is any different. In fact, it's often more busy and exhausting. But I guess it's a different busy. What I've got on tap for this weekend: girls night for a friend who is having a baby, a 6 mile run, a baptism, soccer games...I'm sure Aaron will want to go see the puppies. (And I have to admit, they are stink'n cute. But they'll eventually be dogs that will destroy my house and yard. Swine dogs.) These are all fun things, yes? Yes. So it should be a good weekend.

My current frustration: I'm running like a mad dog right now to get ready for Bolder Boulder (Tuesday, alone, I ran 7 miles) and I'm not losing any weight. Sure, I ate my weight in cookies once this week but the rest of the time, I've been a saint. I know there's the argument that I'm building muscle. But I don't want to be ripped, I want to be a gazelle. (or a puma. pumas are sweet.) I feel like a contestant on the Biggest Loser who busts butt all week and gets a 1 on the scale. Or in my case, a zero. Doesn't my body know the pools open at the end of May? And that I'll be living in a swim suit?

You cuss'n with me?

We are officially getting a dog. The money has been laid down. German (huge hyper) short hair. The puppies are only 4 weeks right now, so we have about a month to get doggie-proofed. Let the record show, the dog will not live in the house. And the basement or garage is adequate for the winter.

I give it two days before I start cussing it.
I give Aaron a week. (He loves animals more than me and this is his dog.)

If you think we'll cuss about the dog sooner or later than what I just bet, enter your bet in the comments. Person who gets closest to the actual cussing will win something fabulous (like a scoop of dog barf..I kid, I kid...it'll be better).

It's nuts I know. The kids will love it. But I do not want to scoop poop. uuuuugghhghhghgh. dogs.

McLovin, just McLovin

I have a byline. I'm writing a weekly roundup for the Northern Colorado Writers blog. It isn't much but some of the big blogs link to it. This first one could have been better but I got the gig on Tuesday. So not bad for a two day turnaround. I'm really excited about this because it will be great for my querying bio and it gives agents a direct link showing them I know the biz. woo hoo.

It's a twister

Today, I took Ava and Morgan to the park. It was a beautiful day (compared to the rainy blustery days we've had this week). After an hour, I took the kids home and we settled into a snack...and then it came. A big black cloud. I thought it was just a rainstorm until I heard the sirens. I didn't mistake them for a car alarm this time. So before scrambling down to the basement, I decided to investigate what had the fireman's panties in a bunch. Then the hail started. There was hail last year when the tornado touched down. I was a bit more concerned. I opened the garage door and took a peek. I never really understood "green" clouds until today. The low black storm clouds had huge patches of slime green daring to start something. Then the hail came down hard and fast. And then sideways from the wind. That's when I closed the garage door and bunkered down in the basement with the girls. Nothing touched down, but it was freaky. More freaky than the actual tornado from last year. This thing just looked bigger and nastier. Who knew Colorado was so prone to tornadoes? I guess knowing is half the battle.

Mmmm, they're so moist

Today has been a cookie binge day. My kids are wearing me thin. Almost translucent. Sweet Ava, who is now 4, is making everyone over tired. She doesn't sleep and the sun coming up at 5a doesn't help. They've all been fighting like rabid banshees. I can't take it anymore.

My life is officially crazy right now. I have too many balls in the air (none are goals...just life). And it shows because sweet little bryn lost her first tooth yesterday and the lazy tooth fairy forgot. Thankfully, the fairy has a horrible track record with Lauren so Bryn didn't shed a tear. And tonight we're cool. But I had to set an alarm. Dirtbag mom, that's what I am.

Thank goodness for May. Almost all the kids extras end in May: dance, art, soccer. It will be nice to have a summer of george. Although Lauren will still take guitar. She is jamming by the way. She started in Jan and just finished the first book. Her teacher is amazed. Piano practice soothes me like a rusty cheese grater, but guitar practice hasn't been bad. I think it's because I love guitar. And I love seeing her progress.

Other May fabulosity: Weekend trip with the Birch girls in SF. I need to get out of town. And the Bolder Boulder is at the end of the month. 6 juicy miles.

There's a bunch of us that run every saturday at the res. We did a 5 mile last saturday and it didn't kill me. I'm hoping this week will be even easier.

and thus concludes my thoughts. end scene.

it's my turn to stay at home and plot the death of Dora the Explorer

While my mom was here, we had a few nights together just the two of us since Aaron was out of town. And it was really fun to hang out and chat. My mom loves girly movies. She's seen everything Kate Hudson and JLo have been in and admits it without shame. So when we decided to watch a movie it became glaringly noticeable that I own zero girly movies. My Shakespeares were the closest thing. All we own is comedy/action/kung fu/and an occasional drama. So I thought (knowing my Mom will visit again) I should pick up a few girly flicks. Here's the rub: I don't know which girly flicks are the best. If anyone has an opinion, please pipe up with your favorite girly show.

Please keep in mind that I discriminate against JLO, Kate Hudson, Reese Witherspoon, and the BBC version of Pride & Prejudice. So if your favorite girly show includes any of the previously mentioned, please accept my deepest sympathies for your lack of judgement.

knuckle bump

to Soccer Moms--literal soccer moms. This is my first official year dragging kids to soccer practice and games and I have to say: I hate it. Three times a week plus two games every Saturday (which are never back to back) equals love for my kids. And then I think about my neighbors that have 3 kids in soccer; the two older boys are in competitive soccer which runs them all over the Denver Metro. I'm glad my girls aren't loving it. Don't get me wrong they love to kick and play soccer but they are not aggressive. And both have said they don't want to play next year. I can only hope. We'll just have to stick to soccer camps. Short and sweet.

friday sidebar: top ten movie trailer spoofs . My favorite is office space.

Oh my holy crap!

Last night while I was procrastinating sleep. ( I just wasn't ready to start today. But it happened anyway.) I was flipping around on the TV and discovered this:

PajamaJeans

I thought the snuggie was ridiculous but this has topped it. They leave me speechless...almost.

What kept me up even later last night? These thoughts:

1. The price point of the Pajamajean. $40 + S&H. Steep for a pair of shhhhweats. Seriously, who was the marketer that thought that price would be justifiable. They're not in touch with their demo. Now if it were $19. I'd buy a pair for Amb and Stew for Christmas.
2. Someone is making a lot of money selling these things. Enough to run an ad campaign. Astounding.
3. And finally, did you take a look at these things? They are breathtakingly awesome-bad....ass? No, they are worse than bad. They are the worst.
4. And ultimately finally, I love America. Only in America would someone dream up, make, and sell PajamaJeans. Suck on it China. You may produce and save but we have PajamaJeans. Although, I'm sure these are made in China...so touche.

hello gorgeous

Long time, no talky. Yeah, it has been a busy one. So I'll recap my life quickly (for posterity) and then move on to the current swirl in my head. [warning: my recap is wordy and probably boring. I'd send you to a youtube video if I knew of a funny right now. But I don't. Sorry.]

NCWC
Two weeks ago I went to the NCW Writing Conference in Fort Collins. And thank you mom for surviving my kids while I went. The conference was very educational and in some ways surprising. Being that this was my first conference I wasn't quite sure what to expect. I dreaded a Gentlemen Bronco experience and was delighted that only two of the many sessions had pontificating authors and no suggestions for naming your characters...although I need help with that one. Naming characters can actually suck... a lot.

Pitching The Faster Shoes to Joe Monti was an eye opener. He liked my characters and dissected my plot to make it more literary than adventure which surprised me. But my ten minutes with him gave me lots of direction. And then I went to his class on Writing for Boys. Sucker. I pitched the wrong book. My Puddlejump adventure is exactly what he's looking for. But my puddlejumpers lack character. So I've decided to rework them and my first chapters and then query Joe. Hopefully, he'll still remember me (a little).

What surprised me most about the conference was how many older people were there. At least 2/3 of the attendees were 65+. Most all of them writing memoirs. And the majority of the writers were not as far along in becoming a better writer. This is subjective of course. But after hearing the slush pile, I walked away more confident about my writing. I still have a ton of work to do, but I recognise what I need to do and I feel myself inching closer to becoming published. Oh and I did meet two great girls that are about my speed as far as understanding the biz and the craft. I need to email them.

Spring Break
So the conference ended on Saturday. Mom flew home Sunday. And then Tuesday we packed up for a long week in Utah. Aaron worked the entire time but it was fun to hang out with family. On a crappy note. My cell phone's battery died on Wed and I had forgotten my charger. So I had no way of calling friends I intended to see. That sucked.

April Fools
So of course it was April Fools. I did a few standbys on the kids--although toothpaste Oreos backfired because they just thought they were mint. But for my parents. I rescued a kitten from the animal shelter and gave it to them. I thought my mom wanted one. She didn't. So it was funny until we had to find it a real home. And Aaron being the sucker for animals wanted to bring it home. Luckily my parents' neighbors wanted the little guy otherwise it would have come home with us to Denver. Bullet dodged. I'm not quite ready to scoop litter.

Easter
Saturday between conference sessions, Amb and Sun and families came over and we played games, ate, and did a big game for the kids. Good times. Sunday, the kids were higher than kites when we drove home. We thought for sure that Morgan would throw up but she didn't. Shew.

Monday
We detoxed.

Today
I cleaned the house, we played with friends, and now I'm about to go run. I'm doing a long run on Saturday with a bunch of friends...hopefully it won't be too cold. I'm a wimp when it comes to wind.

Broncanus

Why is it so hard for me to name characters? I suck at it. I keep changing their names and not loving the change.

Maybe because it is snowing today. No snow day for the kids, just lots of snow. I'm ready for the pool to open. Not to make snowmen.

We started soccer this week for Lore and Bryn. It is a huge headache, even with friends to carpool. We get home at 7p. Their first game is on Saturday. It should be entertaining if it doesn't get cancelled from the snow.

I'm dragging today. My stomach is churning trying to fight the stomach flu that the kids finally finished. Brutal. I need to run but I have no energy.

And my final random thought: our laptop computer black screened this week. We thought we had backed up all our pictures but we realized now we're missing a bunch. I've got to take the laptop in and see if we can salvage our memories. Sucks.

Gentlemen Broncos sidebar: we saw this movie a couple of days ago. I relate to it on too many unfortunate levels. One week till the writer's conference, I'm hoping it will be more productive than the one from this movie.

one of my favorite things

Barf.

And lots of it. First Morgan, then Lauren. Bryn and Ava are just waiting in the wings till tonight when they'll start spilling their dinner all over.

And of course I had just finished laundry and cleaning my laundry room. Now it is covered in bedding and towels and pillows and stuffed animals (all victims of the carnage). It's the best. It's fantastic.

Props to Aaron for helping out last night. I was wiped out and he came to my rescue by helping Lauren at the wee hours of the morning.

Stomach flues are the worst.

and then some

I need to be doing more of it but daily life seems to suffocate me right now.

18 days till the Northern Colorado Writers' Conference. I'm nervous and excited to see how it goes. I'll be pitching my story and I'm trying to figure out the best way to do that plus polish the first 30 pages in case I get a request. And then 18 days doesn't feel like enough time. So my stomach flips.

hot tub time machine

I really need one today. I'd be so much more productive...and relaxed.

Hot water bubbles massaging my back. Tim travel. Good.

eye on the prize

I'm not a huge spender (although, when I do, I binge), but on occasion I splurge on a few things that thwart my desire to spend less. These are not big tickets but they add up over time. Swine splurges:

• Books (especially if there is a good one out or I find it on sale)
• InStyle Magazine (just fashion, no sex)
• Monster Trail Mix from Target
• Chick-fil-A side salad (it's the honey roasted sunflower seeds that make me crave it.)
• Chocolate croissants

Not a huge list but I bought one of each within the past three days.

Thirfty is not one of my character traits. MMMmmm, remember Thirfty's ice cream: chocolate malted crunch. Best ice cream flavor ever. I remember when you could get a single scoop for 15 cents. Crap I'm old.

goal achieving sidebar: I'm officially sucking at getting my goals done. My laundry room...only half done, and look at my blog entries. I sucked it up in Feb but have renewed my motivation. We'll see how it goes.

you can get with this or you can get with that

The other night we were reading the scriptures and we got to a verse about feeding and helping the poor, sick, and needy. (I'm paraphrasing obviously.) And Lauren in her quest for heaven says, "So to get into heaven, you have to help people."

I respond, "Well, if you love people as Christ loves them, then you'll want to help them. Remember, love one another?"

"Yeah. So after you're baptised, then you just have to keep the commandments and help people to get into heaven."

"Sweetheart, if you believe in Jesus Christ then you'll want to keep the commandments and help others."

"But that's what gets you into heaven, right?"

"Yes," I concede. And I watch her as she prepares a mental checklist of getting-into-heaven requirements. (So my child.)

Then yesterday, I got two bags of baby clothes together to donate to a pregnant teen crisis center. And Lore asks, "Mom, what are you doing with those baby clothes?"

"We're giving them to people who need them."

"Are those our old baby clothes? Why do you have to give away our stuff? Why can't you just buy some new ones to give away?" (So Aaron's child.)

"Do you still wear baby clothes?"

"No."

"Well there are other people who need these. And I want to give them away. Remember the scripture about clothing those in need?"

"Oh yeah. So you can get into heaven."

do you have any idea what the street value of this mountain is?

It is friday but it feels like Monday. The girls had both monday and tuesday off of school, so last weekend we went to Utah. (Sorry Utah friends, we only had time for family and snowboarding.) It was a fun weekend. And little Lore and Bryn tore it up on the slopes. I think we've officially graduated from the bunny lift. Of which a nice kid from Ghana took me and Bryn out getting off the lift. I've got a sweet bruise as a souvenir. It was a fun weekend of grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles. Good times. Good times.

So we return to life that started like a Monday but it was Wednesday and yesterday felt the same. And today still feels like a Monday. The girls are definitely thrown off because I'm fighting to get stuff done. I'm ready to scrap the week and start over. It probably doesn't help that Aaron has been in TX and gets back tonight. (Of which, there has been an uncomfortable amount of moving-to-tx jokes around his co-workers. It makes me sick to my stomach just thinking of the possibility.)

I should order a babysitter. I'm sure everyone is taken but I guess I can try.

That's my nutshell. Now I gotta go help Bryn finish her homework.

Percy Jackson sidebar: the movie was a complete failure. Except for the casting, that was pretty good.

Hunger Games sidebar: I just swam through this book and its sequel this week. So good. Brutal, but gooood. Aaron is reading it now, and while he's having trouble putting it down he claims he's not feeling it because he doesn't like reading through a girl's eyes. For being the type of man that he is, it is ironic that he has all girls. Brings a smile to my smug spiteful face.

it's a toofer

What's a girl to do? Valentine's on Sunday and Aaron's 36th birthday on Monday. I'm drawing the biggest blank. I have no idea what I'm doing for him for either. Well, we're taking the girls snowboarding on Monday but that's it. Annnnnnd, I'm having the girls make little love notes for Aaron too, but that's really all I got. Technically none are presents or really from me. He has everything--accept for new garments and a white shirt. But I'd feel like I was his mother if I bought those. And those don't exactly say Happy Birthday. If anyone has an idea, call me. I need all the help I can get.

t-t-t-t-today junior

I'm just 3 hours away from picking up our babysitter and time is melting at an excruciatingly slow pace. I need out of this house. I need to escape my lovable but crazy banshees.

milk milk lemonade

"I'm so wet I could eat a whole turkey."

[Ava after a pee accident.]

Double check check

De-mommed my car and maintained.

I'd like to thank all the little people that worked relentlessly to thwart my efforts. But with constant vigilance and a dash of perseverance, I prevailed. My car looks and smells fabulous. So much so that my friend noticed and commented on my feat of strength when I took her home last night after a much needed girl's night.

We'll see if I can continue to maintain through the next month.

He's out there hoeing again

My days are filled with slobber right now. Slobber is what drools out of Morgan's mouth. She chews on everything right now. This drives Ava insane and then I hear about it all day. "Eeeew, slobber." "Mom, Morgan slobbered on this." "Mom! This is covered in slobber." "Aaaah, I can't touch that, it's slobbered." "SLOBBER!"

I'm losing my mind.

I feeling like I'm out hoeing my dirt patch in the the middle of winter. (thanks for the neighbor story Christy...it is completely relevant to my life right now.)

teaparty sidebar: So we got Ava a tea set for christmas and we've put it to good use. She invites a few friends over each week for fancy nancy teaparties. Today, we'll be serving frosted animal cookies, skittles, and cream soda.

bryan sidebar: I forgot to mention that Bryan came to town and we had a blast. I love that boy.

Stake evaluation sidebar: So this past weekend has been insane. Primary party x 100 kids, issues I can't mention, and Ward Conference which = Stake evaluation. We survived...I think. I'm meeting with the Stake Primary Pres this week to get the results. I figure it will be more positive than the last when I got steamrolled by the (former) Stake-Pres-Primary-Nazi (who believed that Sharing Time should not be fun and all business...like a dumbed down Gospel Doctrine class.) Don't get me wrong, the Nazi was good for me, but I'm grateful for the new president.

some will use the cats for good, others for evil

We officially donated all our baby stuff to goodwill. No more baby car seat, bassinet, highchair, etc. We're still holding on to the crib but other than that: finito. I don't know what inspired Aaron to finally let go but he did. I think he has finally accepted that we're not having any more children and has come to terms with not having a boy. Sit Ubu sit, good boy.

I feel the need, the need for speed

Yesterday I took kids + friends for a walk to the reservoir. As we were rounding up friends, I asked Bryn if she wanted to wear her boots (cuz we still have lots of snow) or her tennis shoes. She thought for a minute and said she wanted to wear her "Fancy Nancy" shoes because she can run fast in them and she wanted to be fast.

Later, when we were walking along the trail, the older girls thought it was awesome to run ahead which made it harder for Bryn and Becca to keep up. Bryn eventually became frustrated and yelled to Lauren to wait up. The older girls stopped and Becca took off to catch up. Just before Bryn ran after her, I saw Bryn looking down at her feet and then I heard her say out loud to herself, "Why aren't these things working?"

Faster shoes are such a magical thing.

Which inspired an idea for a story that I storyboarded the rest of the way to the park. It is the manuscript I'm going to finish this year: The Faster Shoes [a modern retelling of Jack and the Beanstalk]. Thanks Bryn. I already have the first page done and want to enter it into a contest for this month.

I'm like an otter, a sexy little otter

Here she is in all her glam, my 2010 goal list. I'm only throwing up one ball at a time this year...so we'll see if I get them done this way. I think one a month is good:

[jan] De-mom my car and maintain for 22 days (the arbitrary habit-forming day count)
[feb] Declutter my two stash spots (laundry room & kid cupboards) and maintain.
[mar] Attend a writing conference (NCWC).
[apr] Repotty train Morgan (we've been in regression for too long.)
[may & sept] Run two races: bolder boulder (if we aren't in santa cruz) & my southlands 5K.
[jun] Read the Book of Mormon with Lauren before she is baptised.
[jul] Complete a basic drawing class with Bryn.
[aug] Read 12 middle grade novels.
[oct] Teach Ava all her letters & sounds.
[nov] Give an accounting of my spend-less/want-less for the year. This means writing down everything I spend money on...hopefully this will deter frivolous spending and then I can see where I needlessly spent.
[dec] Finish a new manuscript.

There's a lot of stuff that didn't make the cut but I figure this is a more manageable list of things that I really want to accomplish.

solve this one sherlock

The backstory: yesterday, Lauren came home crying. An older boy from up the street yelled at her, "Your freckles are ridiculous." A bunch of kids laughed. This crushed her. She's the only one in her class that has freckles and it makes her feel different. After a few minutes I was able to calm her down. I thought about going and talking to his mom but didn't want to give it more attention and chalked it up to mean kids.

Today, I got a call from the Vice Principal of Lauren's school. He had called Lauren, the older boy and the older boy's brother into his office. Apparently there was more to the said incident the day before. Here is a retelling of what happened as far as I, the VP, and the boys' dad could determine:

Lauren and the younger boy, Ben (also 7), were sitting together on the bus reading a book together. Lore and Ben are really good friends. Ben's older brother came over to them and began to tease them that they were boyfriend/girlfriend.

Lore is not allowed to have a boyfriend and isn't interested in boys yet. So the teasing offended her. She protested several times. To which Ben asked why she wouldn't be his girlfriend.

And she responded, "When I have a boyfriend his skin won't be brown." Did I mention Ben is black? Yeah.

Naturally this hurt Ben's feelings and then now you can understand why his brother made the freckle comment.

Well this also put Ben's parents out of sorts and they ran to the school to complain. I understand their anger but they could have come over to our house instead of the school. Whatever. Lauren was devastated to be called into the VP's office. When they talked it out, they all apologized. And then I went over and talked to the parents after school. Everything is fine.

Lore wasn't trying to be racist (she doesn't even know what that means). And I think they understand this.

The crazy thing is, we've tried hard to teach our kids that skin color is no different that hair or eye color. If we were all the same, life would be boring. But it still backfired.

Innocently,Lore was just thinking that when you have a boyfriend then you marry them and she wants to marry someone like her dad who happens to be white. This of course came out wrong. And in the future her response will be: I don't want a boyfriend because I'm not allowed.

uggh. rough day.

How in the world do you teach your children that everyone is equal without having to explain racial sensitivities?

We basically told Lore that just how she was hurt by them making fun of what makes her unique, she had hurt Ben's feeling for same reasons.

And I'm still a bit upset with the VP for calling me about race but not calling the boys' parents about name calling (which he knew about). When I mentioned the freckle/skin comment to the dad it was news to him. And obviously the freckle comment does not weigh the same but it made Lauren cry just as much. Her self esteem is just as damaged. What's a mom to do?

dashing, dashing, dashing, dashing

The Christmas download. Two weeks, relative bliss. Here's the top ten:

1. squeals of delight on Christmas morning (and during the Chimpmunk squeakual--brutal but worth the squeals)
2. Ry & Christy & crew for all around fun playing Nintendo, pump it up, monkey biz, games, blokus (which Ava now calls Punk. Who wouldn't want to play Punk?), yadda, yadda, yadda, good times.
3. snowboarding with Lauren
4. sledding and snow fights. Sorry to those who got a facial.
5. Band Hero with the Cannons. I really suck on vocals.
6. kids sleeping in till 8:30a.
7. two weeks and no church meetings
8. seeing Jen & Jer and family
9. The Aquarium
10. Morgan chowing through her whole stocking before dinner.

Bottom Five

1. Creating a seating map for primary and then walking into a Primary Rm completely reconfigured by the previous ward...note to self: coordinate with other wards next year.
2. Kids after the squeakual.
3. Overtired kids.
4. Morgan throwing up on the way to the ski resorts.
5. The last snowboard run with Lore...I knew I shouldn't have pushed it and I paid for it.

you like that?

Just to give you an idea of how my week is going (and thus explains why I haven't posted in a bit):

Today I'm wearing maternity garments. I'm not pregnant. I'm just really really behind on laundry. All I had was maternity this morning. And they are giant awful granny panties. I guess I should be grateful that they're loose.

swine laundry. Why can't it clean itself? Like a cat.