I just want to retire and create a currency for dogs and cats

Aaron gave his two-weeks today. It is official-ficial. We are moving to Denver and Aaron is going to work for Red Bull. He starts on the 12th.

So when he went into Wunderli and dropped the I'm actually leaving, Wunderli was really cool. We'll see if they're nice tomorrow when they fully comprehend what this means for them. They have no one internally that can do Aaron's job, so they're really screwed. Wunderli began to realize this as he was talking to Aaron. He kept repeating two weeks. Aaron feels bad for the people that actually work there who will have to pick up the pieces but HOORAY! And hooray for finally getting out of Utah. I was beginning to believe this would never happen.

Now my life is revolving around getting the house ready to sell by dejunking and packing away winter. We're planning on listing the place when we get back from Santa Cruz. Because Utah is part of Aaron's territory, RedBull said he could work from Utah till the house sells. This will be good but we would still like to move before school starts for Lauren. We'll see what happens. It's all in the hips, it's all in the hips.

That green glowing, yeah not to many people can do that

I know two fundamental truths right now:

1. That I have a testimony of Jesus Christ and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
   
2. That Wii Mario Kart is sweeeet.
   

Not there. There.

On Sunday, I taught Relief Society. It went well, I didn't sweat (thank you Degree for Women Clinical Strength), and I think I covered all the main points of the lesson. Anyway, before RS started, I was sitting with Holly and talking about something when the 2nd Counsellor came up and asked if I was ready and if I needed any help setting up? At this moment I realized she was referring to the empty table covered with a lace tablecloth. I had no table display. I don't believe in them, so I had brought nothing. I held up my manual and said I'm all set. She smiled and said great. But she was clearly thrown and I'm sure this poor woman was stressing the empty table display. After she left, I turned to Holly and said, "Should I have brought something? It's just not my style." She answered No. And then we discussed the added value of the table display. There is nothing wrong with them, I just don't think about doing them. I focus on the lesson. My mother is the master of the table display. Anyway, to set the RS presidency at ease, I offered my pencil at the beginning of the lesson (that I also was using to prove a point) as my table display. This got laughs and a relieved smile from the 2nd counsellor.

she lost her job and she lost her Tony, and she lost her mind...

So today I am calling it: it is officially the second worst week of being a mother. (The first worst week of course was the week Aaron was out of town and all four girls got the superbug where they all took turns puking and pooping all over everything.) This week started with Ava and Morgan coming down with mega fevers. After a couple of trips to the doctor's office, it was concluded that they had roseola and handnmouthnfootnsomething virus. Good times. Bryn just came down with the fever this morning, so I'm expecting my best week ever to continue a bit longer. Anyway, my week has consisted of lots of crying, holding, pacing, and not sleeping. This week I think I averaged between 3-4 hours of sleep a night, which helped me realize that I need at least a solid 6 to function at normal. I have high hopes for tonight since Morgan is somewhat on the mend.

This week has been particularly choice because I've also had a PMSing 5-year old. The teenage years are going to be devastating, I'm going to get my mother's curse four fold. We've had lots of talks about not acting like little Verruca Salt. I think it was Wednesday when all the girls were going nuts, and I couldn't take it anymore. So I decided to try Sunny's idea of having a party to swing the mood. When there was a lull in the crazy, I told all the girls to go get dressed up fancy because we were going to have a party. They loved the idea and immediately began to get ready, putting on dress ups, party shoes, fancy tights, jewelry, hats, the works. Only now I became Cinderella: Mom, where's my purse? Mom, I don't have a hat? Mom, she has more necklaces than me. I was not pleased, so we had another ladies chat. Twenty minutes later, we piled in the car and headed to SmartCookie. After several threats to turn the car around, we managed to walk into SmartCookie with no one crying. We had some cookies and went home...the dark cloud above our house lifted slightly but I do not recommend the party idea.

The only things lifting my swollen baggy eyes this week: my Glad vanilla scent trash bags--heaven in a trash can--and Wii Mario Kart, Aaron's going to get in in two hours. Love Mario Kart. Although GameCube mario kart not as good as N64.

Here's a lesson for you and me, cuz I'm no fool.

Last night I had a weird dream. For some reason I had handfuls of quarters and I was suppose to go to this convenient store to use one of those coin machines that takes your coins and gives you dollars. So I stuck a quarter in, but before I could add another quarter, the machine spit out a twenty dollar bill. I stuck in another quarter, another $20. I did this several times till I had at least $200-$300. I can't keep the money because that would be dishonest. So I go to the store clerk to turn the money in. The store clerk is Creed (from the office). He tells me that the machine is owned by another company and he can't take the money. He tells me to keep the money and then go and put the rest of my quarters in so that it doesn't overpay anyone else. So I think this is a good plan and put the rest of my quarters in. By the time the machine starts working properly, I have handfuls of cash money. Then I wake up.

Two things that disturb me about this dream is that one) Creed is my moral conscience. Not Jimmy Cricket, Creed! And two) that I accepted Creed's plan as a good one.

I immediately regret this decision

Ok, while we were out catting around town, I saw a Smart car on the roads. A Smart! I haven't seen these since Aaron and I were in Europe. Smart cars are ridiculously small vehicles--yeah they're not cars--that you can find all over Europe because they can park in tight spots and get fabulous gas mileage. We had heard that they were going to sell smarts in the US, but Aaron and I never believed we would actually see one.

You have to be a flaming idiot to drive a smart in America. Why? Because I could crush a smart with my left butt cheek, that's why. Seriously, golf carts would fair better than a smart in a car accident. It is only a matter of time before some "smart" idiot get crushed to death by a civic. Yeah, a GEO Metro looks like a full-size car next to a smart.

I guess if you treated your smart like a scooter you might survive. But driving in Utah, that's a death wish.

So you can go to smart and customize your American death trap. Here's mine, I call it blueberry bliss. Oh yeah, I upgraded to a cabriolet, it makes it even more ridiculous. I also got the heated seats, once you have them you can never go back. Can you imagine spending $18k on this. People are suckers. I could get a wrangler for the same price!

Is there something more than being ridiculously good looking?

Ok, I should be in bed with Aaron but I just finished working on this miserable contract job and now I just need a moment to spew my brains out.

Let it be known, from here on out I will not be taking any more contract jobs for the rest of the year...oh except I am helping STEWART! (it always feels good to shout his name) with a logo, business cards and a website...but that is it. No more. I am going to learn to say no. Why the sudden change in attitude? I am burnt out...just like I knew I would be. This current job started easy, and I finished it, then they asked for more help. But was it as easy as the last? Oh no. It sucks. I am hating on it. Thus no more contract jobs. My resume is sufficiently maintained for this year. If Aaron dies, I feel confident that I will be able to reenter the work force...yeah that's why I do it. In our old ward, one of the most inspiring women I know is raising 3 daughters after her husband died in a car crash. After it happened, she had to pick up the pieces, continue her husband's business, and raise 3 small girls 2, 5, 7. Sound familiar? Yeah, this is by far one of my biggest fears, that and a major natural disaster where I can't get to all the girls.

bleh. That felt good. now just a touch more.

So we did it, we finally found a way out of Utah. The recruiter called Aaron on Saturday, he got the job with Red Bull. Aaron's expecting a formal offer tomorrow morning. Based on what the recruiter said, it should be sweet. We'll see, I can think of a lot of sweetness. Denver here we come. Aaron has been daydreaming all weekend about the eat poo faces Ogio will have when they get the news. Although we need to burn about a week and a half of PTO, so I'm not sure when he will drop that bomb. I feel fine about Aaron working for Red Bull, but every once in a while I have the moral debate of whether a mormon should be promoting a caffeine-charged product. Aaron's job is to promote the brand vs the product but isn't that just selling Joe Camel to the kids? Yeah, I'll get over it. A few years with Red Bull will boost Aaron's resume, then hopefully Nike will come a calling. Or maybe we'll just do our own thing. We are stoked to be closer to Ry and Christy.

So on to my new thing: you know, in my spare time (which is mostly on the toilet or in the shower), I've been developing a business plan for my own retail store. It will be located next to Aaron's snowboard/skate shop...and preferably next to a grocery and movie theatre. I recognize I can't have my store now, swine kids, so this is part of my 5 year plan, once the ladies are all in school. I'm going to have a cookie cafe called: Deliciousity. I will sell about 20 different varieties of fabulous cookies, including Jonathan's monster cookie, banana chocolate chip, and some other delights. I also plan to sell my left over cookiedough as frozen ready-to-bake cookies and other fab ideas. Oh, I'll have a slurpee self-serve as well, because, frankly, slurpees are delicious...this is also leveraging my original idea of creating a mormon bar in Provo: you know, a place to hang out that sells just self-serve soda, slurpees, hot chocolate, juice, any drink really. My mormon bar was going to be named: Drank. You know, so you can go get your Drank on. I should probably trademark that. Of course after some research (Jonathan helped because at first he thought it would work too), we concluded that mormons are too cheap and that our average sale would only be about $2. So the volume would have to be insane to make any real money. I don't know, I still believe in Drank. I think if a hot dog stand can do well, so can Drank.

I think I have emptied my mind enough. Hopefully now Morgan will stay asleep. She always wakes up when I go to bed. I have rings like saturn under my eyes right now. cheers

Nevaehen sidebar: I'm getting closer. My birthday 5/14 is going to be the drop date for a readable version of my children's adventure novel. Porter and Addy are going to be my first editors. I better get cracking, I still want to run another round of edits over it before then.

Bebop Cola

Aaron is an early adopter, I'm early majority at best. It's good to be married to an early adopter. I'm a promoter. If I find something I love, I promote it to any one who will listen. I don't know if that is because I want validation for my own choices or if I just want everyone to share in the love...probably a little bit of both.

These are the things I am promoting right now:

Degree for Women Clinical Protection Deodorant: it threw me off for a week but this stuff is awesome. Once it dries it feels like satin in your armpit. And I stay ultra dry...I'm not a very sweaty person, but today I taught Relief Society and yeah not even a slight dampness.

Glad Oder Shield Tall Kitchen Bags in New Vanilla scent: It is potpourri in my trash can. I take several whiffs out of the can before I stash it away under the sink. It is delightful. My father in law even asked if I was making cookies once because of the pleasant scent escaping from under the sink. If I'm in the kitchen, and need a moment, I just waft the door and drink in the soothing vanilla scent of my trash. (Yes, Aaron thinks I'm a psycho.)

The Dinosaur Museum at Thanksgiving Point: This museum is fabulous for kids and adults. All of the girls loved it and they had really cool interactive things for the kids to do: sandpit to dig out dino bones, build your own dino island, a viewing area to watch real paleontologists work on cleaning up bones. Apparently, this museum has the most dino bones in all the US. They have two full size T-rexs. It was frightening to see their actual size, I'm sure my dreams will be terrifying the next time we battle it out.

et tu

This weekend Aaron's family came to town. It was a busy one as usual, the girls were sad to see them go. Of course, granny will be back in two weeks, and then again another two weeks later, and then we'll be in Santa Cruz with them after that. Sometimes I think it is funny that they think we see my family more when in actual time, we spend way more time with Aaron's family. It isn't a bad thing, it's just funny that they think they're getting the shaft (when they aren't). It shocks them when the find out how little we see my parents who live 25 minutes away. I just like my space. Aaron respects it but doesn't understand it.

Anyway this weekend, I got them soo good...but probably not as good as I got Aaron. I love to pull pranks. I am constantly messing with my inlaws or any unsuspecting family member, really. When the group of them: Scott, Margaret, Kiersten, and Bryan got in to town, I made chocolate chip banana cookies--a favero family favorite, which none of them can resist no matter what wild diet they are on. I know this. So I quickly whipped up a batch and even let Kiersten lick the beater, to lull them into complacency. Then I secretly made a smaller bowl, about six cookies worth, with an added 1/4 cup of salt. I tasted my masterpiece and almost gagged on the playdoughesque cookie dough.

I baked the cookies, the bad ones of course came out first. And I neatly handed them each (including Aaron) a warm salty banana cookie. It was my luck that Aaron took the first bite. And after a few seconds he looked at me with his sweet eat poo face. I could not contain my laughter when he pathetically said, "You gave one to me too. I should have know." It was priceless. He was soo butt hurt that I would prank him too. Sometimes its scary how much he and Lauren are alike. Both love pranks but don't actually like them done to them.

One by one each favero fell victim to my cookie ploy because they were oblivious to each other's demise. They took it well but were greatly distraught. I told them that real cookies would be ready in a five more minutes, that eased their pain.

April fool's sidebar: I got Aaron's parents extremely well last year, so this year, Scott called Margaret at 6am on his way to work to reminder her to be on her guard if I called because it was April fool's day. I didn't have anything planned for them, again, I'm patient and wait for them to become complacent before I attack. At 10 o'clock that night, they called. They were disappointed that I didn't have anything planned for them. The fact that they were on guard all day and I didn't do anything made it choice.

snakes, why did it have to be snakes?

I have two reoccurring dreams: tsunamis and dinosaurs. The tsunamis started about a month before I got married, so who knows what that psycho-babble is about, and at first it usually consisted of me being wiped out and not being able to get to anyone. Every time I have the dream it is a new wave and a new location. Although after almost eleven years, and of course being obsessed with learning about tsunamis, I can generally get away in time and now I can save my family. So now my tsunami dreams consist of me trying to save everyone on the beach before it is too late. It is always interesting to me that some people will believe me and run and others will not; I suppose that is how it would be in real life, but because this is a dream what does that say about me, that I can't even dream everyone to believe me? You would think after that big tsunami wiped out all those people in 2006 that I would have had more dreams, but I didn't.

Anyway, the dinosaur dreams are relatively newer, I've probably been having them for the past seven years. There isn't much to them except running for my life. I usually get caught by a wily t-rex. Damn t-rexs are more agile than one might think.

Last night it was t-rexs. They were ravaging a neighborhood and somehow I got the smell of their babies on me. So they were hunting me down. I gave them the slip in the wreckage of a home and I made a break for a pavilion across the street where a bunch of people had been massacred by the dinos. I could hear a baby crying in the mass of bodies, and so I ran to it. It was a baby boy about morgan's age, with dark brown hair and bright blue eyes. The baby was naked except for a diaper and he had a puncture wound in his stomach that was gushing blood. I laid down next to the baby, hoping I would be able to hide among the dead bodies, and held the little baby's hand. I started stroking the baby's head and trying to comfort him. He stopped crying and looked at me. I knew he would die soon and so I decided to stay with him until he did. I could hear the t-rexs coming, and I knew I only had a few more seconds before I was toast. I didn't look back, I just looked at the baby. He looked back at me, and I could see that he was grateful not to be alone. I could hear the footsteps of the dinos, it wouldn't be much longer now. And then I woke up.

merman

Today it snowed two inches then it was sunny and all the snow melted. Then a few hours later, it snowed another inch. And then I smelled my armpit. That is exactly how I feel today.

And I say to myself, I need exact change

My grandma tobler is about to turn 93. My grandpa died over 12 years ago now. My grandma is more than ready to die, unfortunately, she's fit as a fiddle...what I've learned from both my grandmas is that once your husband dies, forget about taking care of your body and just supersize me. Then I should kick it within a few years. Anyway, my grandma tobler told my parents this weekend the reason she thinks she hasn't died yet. She said,"I think I haven't died because I don't want to do church work in heaven." Then even more seriously, she asked my dad, "How do you do all that church work?" My dad laughed and then told her of a dream he had where he saw my grandpa and a few of his buddies in heaven eating hors d'ouerves and drinking cocktails. So he suggested she could make hors d'ouerves in heaven. She thought about it and decided she could do that.

As for church work, my golden pass of preemie baby has finally expired. I get to teach Relief Society in a few weeks...and the primary president asked Aaron if I'm ready to come back. They just called new primary choristers, so hopefully I'll get something else.

musical sidebar: Is there ever a bad time for White Zombie? seriously, Rob Zombie brings a smile to my heart.