Trany, hot mess, trany, trany, trany, hot mess.

I have my lady plague and I am losing it today. The sad part is: the kids and Aaron are decent, I'm getting crap done, and it's a great hair/makeup day. So what the hell is my problem? I don't know. Besides the fact that Utah is giving us some tax grief and they need a kick in the nuts. But that's whatever. I just feel myself bubbling on the edge of a total freak out.

I have little patience most days but today I have a deficit of patience. Well that might be an exaggeration because otherwise I would have already lost it. But I FEEL like I'm out. (If you really feel a particular way, then it isn't drama. So I prefer to categorize it as passionate.) And I don't want to punish my family for my pms. arrgggh. What do I do?

scream.

cry.

hop on one foot.

sigh.

the jerkstore called

And they were all out of the State of Utah. Seriously, can the utah government get any more retarded. swine utah.

you've officially been pimped

Heidi sent me this: mom my ride. It is my life--my ride. Tuesday, I cleaned a whole bag of trash out of the back seats. And Bryn has art on the backseat that will need a serious scrub to get it off.

"Remember when we had clean cars?"
"Remember when we liked animals?"

I have a problem controlling the VOLUME OF MY VOICE

Just a quickie: I love ALL CAPS. I have for a long time. My handwriting is all cap (or small cap if you're a nerd). In design: ALL CAPS is the equivalent of !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate ! but they have their place. So why am I talking about this? My title of my blog page has been screaming at me the last few entries: WHERE I LEAVE MY CRUMBS. YES YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME. I AM SCREAMING ABOUT IT. It is almost vulgar. I don't like its chi anymore. So next entry, say goodbye to ALL CAPS.

I got nothing

oh my head is full of Fluffy Stuff Cotton Candy today (which I have never had until this weekend; it is a Jonathan favorite and I can see why: it is mildly delightful.)

It was Ava's birthday this weekend and, of course, it snowed 2 feet on Saturday. The day I had left to go get presents, cake, balloons, etc. And of course Aaron was in the mountains for some event so I had to drag the kids with me. I had to rock out of my driveway because the snow was so deep. The Commander almost high-centered in a couple of spots. And if you didn't drive in the grooves: hosed. Amazingly, it wasn't a bad outing; the kids behaved themselves and the roads were empty for obvious reasons.

As a general rule for my kids' birthdays, I decorate the house in streamers, balloons, giant signs, etc as a surprise when they wake up on their birthday. The kids know that I do this but the anticipation of a transformed kitchen/living room always excites them. Ava, Lore, and Bryn couldn't get to sleep till 9p--I caught them occasionally peaking from the balcony. Still, the next morning Ava's eyes lit up when she saw it. I can't believe she's three. Time seems to be jetting by.

Aaron came home Sunday morning from Copper, and then left for Oklahoma on Monday. He gets home tonight. The girls are really missing him. Luckily, he doesn't have to go anywhere until next Monday and then it is just a day trip. It seems like he is traveling a ton but I need to remind myself of Ogio where I didn't see Aaron for almost 2 months straight. It is all relative right?

I have my writer's group on Thursday, that will be a nice break. And then we're going to have a bunch of friends over on Saturday (kids and all), we'll see how it goes. In theory, it should be fun.

oH, so I'm not much for facebook. But I keep my profile up to connect with people that I love. This week, I have connected with all my girlfriends from High School minus 2. I haven't talked to many of them in twelve years. It is fun to see where their life has taken them. Too many good times with those girls.

What I hate about facebook: being tagged in the most unforgivable pictures. I'm reliving days of perm, high pants, goofiness, and all around bad hair/makeup days. These are not good things. So I should untag myself from all of them, but I don't. I should, but somehow it is a therapeutic stripping of vanity. Although, I just bought a ton of makeup (so maybe I'm overcompensating).

Alright, enough dumping. I'm going to go run. I need to make up for last week (I only ran 6 miles total). Six more weeks till I'm living in a bathing suit. chow.

that just happened

"Mom, put on the robot song; you know the one with the party streamer."

I have to agree, it is a party robot song.

It is megamonster snowing today.

the 5 D's of dodgeball

Dodge, duck, dip, dive and....dance. It's raining/snowing today. So the ladies and I had a death by dodgeball grudge match (while listening/dancing to Does It Offend You, Yeah). We have these really soft balls that no matter how hard you throw them, they don't hurt. Is it wrong to take pleasure in smacking your children in the face with a ball? The answer is no, no it is not wrong; it is utterly right.

smile and wave boys, smile and wave

I woke up this morning with a little black cloud hovering over me. I tried to shew it away, but it wouldn't leave. I went to the temple and it still didn't leave. Maybe if I drink my Red Bull Cola elixir? I'll try anything at this point. I mean, who goes to the temple grouchy and comes home grouchy? Jerks. So that's what I am today. sorry kids.

sanctuary

Dance parties with the ladies always lift me. Our set list today:

1. Beyonce: Crazy in Love (Thank you megan for my girls' beyonce addiction...to the left, to the left.)
   
2. Mariah Carey: Heartbreaker (Just give in to the power of the tea.)
   
3. Meiko: Boys with Girlfriends
   
4. Feist: 1234
   
5. Cyndi Lauper: Girls Just Want to have Fun
   
6. Siouxsie and the Banchees: Peek a Boo (and thus concludes all my girl band dance music)
   
7. Does it Offend You, Yeah: Dawn of the Dead (I can't get enough of these guys right now)
   
8. Ok Go: Here We Go Again
   
9. Years Around the Sun: Roundabout (clearly a Pinback ripoff, but still good)
   
10. Saves the Day: Freakish
    
11. Jackson 5: ABC
    
12. Guns N Roses: Welcome to the Jungle (Sure this is a hard transition but necessary.)
    

Rinse. Repeat.

super comfy pamper-time floaty throne

Yeah, I need one today.

Let me hit you with some knowledge

Operation Fast Asleep was unsuccessful. Apparently, my children are built to run around outside for almost four hours and not require any sleep. They are all slightly sun burnt and yet not one of them is asleep right now. What is up with the universe? Stubborn little fighters. Sleep, just close those peepers and give up already.

In unrelated news, I love Red Bull cola--no energy stuff, just delicious taste. Perfection in a soda can.

So, I've been watching the news a lot and it is blowing me away. How did we get to this point where we allow our gov't to regulate the private sector? This is coo-coo-bonkers to me. How in the world do we stop congress from this craziness? Really, I'm without speech. I don't know what we do. I mean, we can email our congress people like mad, but I don't think they listen. And I'm not a spammer...in fact, I loathe spam. (Especially the the political crap because a lot of it ends up being crap spun from the other side trying to scare the poop outta everyone without any real action.) And then, what's up with Nor Korean, Iran, and poor Israel? Scary silliness, if you ask me. Arrrrgh. (I have no ideas, no answers--just frustration.)

I started a writers' group with a couple of friends and we get together once a month to critique each other's work and talk biz-nit. It definitely helps. My writing has improved a ton (not that you would know this from my blog) and it is getting faster and easier to revise the story. I've also learned what I value in writing and storytelling. My big five requirements to a great story:

1. Plot. (Characters are great but if they slow down the plot, I spit on them.)
2. Pace. (It has to move fast and keep me engaged.)
3. Good writing. (No cold granite hands, ie twilight. I recognize I'm not the best at this, but I'm definitely improving.)
4. Strong characters. (I hate weak characters. They can have weaknesses but no sobby-woes-me-hobbitty-dwarfs. You know what I mean?)
5. Invisible narrator. (I don't like the writer to slow down the story, ie Tale of Despereaux.)

So there you go: my mission statement. (Crap, I really am turning into my dad.) I'm trying to apply these requirements to each chapter. It is a process, but I'm getting there. August 6th is the conference, we'll see if I'm ready. (Can you tell I'm procrastinating editing right now?)

I've hit a plateau in exercising...more like a wall. I'm running anywhere between 3-6 miles a day plus pilates and I'm barely denting the scale now. Still, just five more pounds and I'll be happy, you know? Sunny and I have been discussing this at length, because she too has hit a wall. No matter what we do, no change in weight. Sure, there is the argument that we're building muscle but I still have plenty of booty to spare. With pool weather just a few weeks away, I'm starting to think I won't reach the goal. Anyway, Sun and I decided to cut calories--and now I'm starving. Well not really, but I feel like I'm starving. I better see a difference by Thursday or I'm going to be pissed.

Ummm, I think that is about it for thoughts.

sprayer ploy sidebar: 1 frag, 4 suicides. These are not good stats.

conference sidebar: Holland was amazing, as usual.

Oh billy billy billy billy

Aaron is outta town for a couple more days; it is still spring break; we've had some unexpected crappy weather; so yeah, I need to buy some concealer and Clear Eyes to get the weary "cracks" out of my eyes. Today, I'm executing Operation Fast Asleep. I dare the kids to keep their eyes open after I'm done with them--hopefully, I won't wipe myself out in the process.