by the power of grayskull, I have the power!

Another reason I have super-human man strength. I just shovelled our driveway by myself. Three-car garage, two feet of snow. Can you deal with that? My arms feel like jelly. Of course Aaron went to buy a snow blower yesterday and they were sold out--true Aaron's luck. But yeah, we're investing in one. I don't need to run today, I just got a workout.

Oh and my friend was going to come over today with her kids. We had to abort the mission: she got stuck on the street about 100 yards from her house. They don't plow our neighborhood and it is crazy deep. I have to give her props for trying.

We're expecting another 6 inches today. Oh baby it is going to be a white halloween.

I forgot to mention...

Yesterday I tackled:

• getting children to smile for pictures.
• carving 4 out of six pumpkins.
• grading the amazing race...man, Mika is a tard.
• surviving four kids.
  
  And today it is snowing. We got 4 inches by breakfast and they're guessing another 5 by tonight. So I'm going to go shovel the walk for Aaron, because I'm cool like that.

commander sidebar: on days like today, I love my car.

I know, I feel the same way

Yesterday in primary. One of the six-yr-olds was asked to come and help in sharing time. He politely refused by saying, "I can't. I'm having a battle with Satan right now."

same ol same old

It snowed three inches yesterday; so after breakfast this morning, we dug out all the snow clothes and I shipped the kids outside. Sounds simple enough...but it wasn't. It took me thirty minutes to dress all the kids. I felt like the mom from A Christmas Story. They played outside for about an hour and then they defrosted over hot chocolate. I'm ready for winter, sorta--I've been loving our bike rides.

Well I better run. We have back-to-back late-overs tonight and tomorrow. And then Saturday, two parties and a BYU game that we're hosting. Ackkk. Entertaining is great for many reasons: house is clean, kids are entertained, friends, fun, yadda yadda yadda...I've got an hour before it all begins.

it burns us, it burns us

I'm infected with mediocrity.

she did what in the what?!!

BE WARNED: the following is not for the timid and may be too much information for everyone and anyone.

Today I went to the OBGYN for a pap and a much needed restock on birth control. I haven't been since we lived in Utah but come on, who really wants to go the the GYNO: no woman. No woman delights in the pap test. No one. So it was a new doctor and she came recommended. Everything went smoothly until we got to the "ducker" ... SERIOUSLY AVERT YOUR EYES, IF YOU REALLY DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE FOLLOWING TRUTH... She inserts my friend and then I feel some awful tugging, so I look up and see the doctor over at the counter getting her swab, she left the ducker hanging from me. HANGING. I don't recommend this sensation. But the worst was not over: after manhandling my ovaries she says, "Do you mind if I stick a finger up your bum?"

I chuckle at first, and then realize she is completely serious. So I answer, "Yes, I do mind. I don't want anything up my bum. I've never had anything up my bum."

She responds at length about the necessity of the procedure and I finally relent. For ten violating seconds, I endured the most unpleasant experience. A hanging ducker was child's play at this moment. And all I could think about was: How do gay men enjoy this? sickies.

So there you have it, my most traumatic experience of 2009. Lessons learned, just say no.

My other clothes, they were stinky; these are my recreational pants

I have six pairs of jeans; this morning, I realized they are all dirty. How is this possible when I caught up on laundry last week? Each pair has been splattered by something disgusting--most from the mangy kid variety. It wasn't until today, when I put on some slacks (that's right, I used the word slacks; it is the most appropriate) that I realized I need some casual/non-jean/non-shhhhhweat pants. Who knew? ...well I do, now....because I'm wearing slacks.

All dressed up and only banal errands to run. I look like a working mom who had to run home to pick up her kids from daycare because they were throwing up or beating other children. I like dress pants, but not during the day: I just feel silly.

it's one of my favorite things

Public restrooms are a necessary evil. Potty-training children require them at all times. I've been to three already today: the police station (the library wasn't open yet), The Gap, and Target. I think my girls like to use the public bathrooms for the soap, which is disgusting on a different level. You know the smell: gross.

My top ten favorite smells:

1. a bookstore
2. a new book
3. cookies baking in an oven
4. an ocean breeze
5. hazelnut
6. the mountains
7. eucalyptus trees
8. basil
9. thyme
10. wassail

Tamp it to the max with Tampax

Last night I woke up from a terribly leaky dream about my lady plague. So naturally, I ran to the bathroom and discovered I was fine. Swine dream.

In an unrelated story about plugs, Aaron is one of two brand managers for his Business Unit (mountain states + Tx & Louisiana). As of Friday, Aaron was over the mountain states. On Monday he found out the other brand manager had been fired and that Aaron now covers the entire BU except for Dallas. This = more travelling + stress + a minor threat that we may be encouraged to move to Texas. We love where we're at, so we're prematurely stressing this. . . or at least, I am. I embrace change but not now; we love Denver. I just hope they hire someone.

swarm! swarm!

That's how I feel today: swarmed. My mind can't keep track of everything that's happening today; so things just keep flying at me and I rush to swat at them--swing and a miss.

you mean there's no such thing as moon cats?

Aaron has officially been placed in Netflix time out. His last three strikes in crappy movie picks:

1. watchmen
2. transporter 3!!!
3. transformers the Animated Cartoon series

beatings. I don't even want to get the mail anymore. seriously, beatings.

final thoughts

After last week, today feels pretty good. Nothing was demanding; I caught up on all the laundry, walked over to the reservoir with the girls, made dinner from scratch (including bread), and even squeezed in a bike ride with Lore. Now I'm finishing up my story (forever in the making) and almost ready to query.

I blame the gorgeous weather.

I am invincible!

I did it and it worked: 3-day potty training. I'm a believer and a success story. I'm not going to lie, the first day was incredibly rough: 17 dirty panties later and not a drop of pee made it in the toilet. By 7p, I put her in a diaper for bed and my sanity. The next day, she said, "Potty." I ran her to the potty and she went. It has been four days since that first success and we've only had two accidents. Incredible. And she tells me and then she runs to the potty. I help her on because I don't have her on a special kid seat. (I trained Ava straight onto a regular toilet and it is working with Morgan too.) So now I am officially done with diapers.

Aaron's lobbying for a dog. I need to stay strong. A dog would complicate my life too much.

are those the panties that your mom laid out for you

My latest fantasies are web related:

Screen-ed: a website dedicated to reading the school textbooks and outlining any thing that may raise concerns for parents. I like to think it is the Screen-It for textbooks. Parents can read a review of their child's textbook and know about any red-flag chapters their child might read. So that the parents can discuss/focus on these chapters with the kids when they get to them. (my holdup: time and I don't have the books and too much diversity in book selection even within the state.)

[untitled]: A fusion of starfall.com, sight words, rocket math and number games smooshed into a very flashy fun game site for kids. This is a particularly attractive fantasy business right now because it can help my day-to-day life of supplementing the kids' education. It consumes most of my shower time and I'm constantly tempted to start it. And I would love to improve my flash skills. Active X is a retarded language, it is amazing to me that Macromedia has been able to stave off competition. There's a lot to be said for first-to-market. (my holdup: time.) I'm tempted to storyboard the whole site right now. I'm not kidding. It would be so easy if I didn't have to sleep. swine sleeping.

Seriously, Aaron is lucky. What wife fantasizes about business ventures? Power nerds like me...jealous?