BE WARNED: the following is not for the timid and may be too much information for everyone and anyone.
Today I went to the OBGYN for a pap and a much needed restock on birth control. I haven't been since we lived in Utah but come on, who really wants to go the the GYNO: no woman. No woman delights in the pap test. No one. So it was a new doctor and she came recommended. Everything went smoothly until we got to the "ducker" ... SERIOUSLY AVERT YOUR EYES, IF YOU REALLY DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE FOLLOWING TRUTH... She inserts my friend and then I feel some awful tugging, so I look up and see the doctor over at the counter getting her swab, she left the ducker hanging from me. HANGING. I don't recommend this sensation. But the worst was not over: after manhandling my ovaries she says, "Do you mind if I stick a finger up your bum?"
I chuckle at first, and then realize she is completely serious. So I answer, "Yes, I do mind. I don't want anything up my bum. I've never had anything up my bum."
She responds at length about the necessity of the procedure and I finally relent. For ten violating seconds, I endured the most unpleasant experience. A hanging ducker was child's play at this moment. And all I could think about was: How do gay men enjoy this? sickies.
So there you have it, my most traumatic experience of 2009. Lessons learned, just say no.
4 comments:
I truly cannot believe it. Yikes! I'm glad I have never had that question asked of me. So sorry.
Ewww... I am sorry, that does not sound pleasant at all. The GYNO no longer bothers me anymore. I think I have been poked, tested, and looked at too much over the last 4 years. But, if I had a finger up my bum I would probably not be too happy. I hope everything is all right!
Ewww.. ewww... eewww!!! Do they think they can just violate you because they have you in a compromising position already. What was the point for the bum check?
Oh I'm so glad I have Nance! Your experience sounds awful.
By the way and totally unrelated...I buy my folex at home depot. Hopefully yours has it...if not, bed bath and beyond also carries it at 3 x the price or I can just send you a box. Let me know.
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