Chip, I'm going to come at you like a spider monkey.

Too many thoughts. Too many thoughts. First why am I so fierce? Some days I'm like a mangy cat who doesn't want a bath. I know I need it, I JUST DON'T WANT IT. I know it will make me smell better, but I want to get into the bath on my own terms...For example: Aaron's parents just got a boat and so they offered to give us their jet skis. Who doesn't want jet skis? Everyone right? That's why I'm a nutball. It is killing me that we are getting them. I know, coo coo, right? Let me explain my insanely unnecessary ferocity.

First, I'm not into having "stuff." Obviously too much so, because everything accept for my book collection, I can categorize as stuff. But more specifically, stuff is anything a boy desires: jet skis, snowmobiles, boats, large tracts of land, I think you get the idea. Now I don't think it is bad to have these things, they are lots of fun...I guess I'm just afraid of getting caught up into having "stuff" that I shun all forms of it...this also includes woman stuff: jewelry, handbags, etc. But I have loads of double standards and it doesn't even make sense to me. I mean I don't drive a minivan when I probably should. So I'm not an example of living practically. But maybe I feel like I'm counter balancing my impracticality by shunning stuff.

Anyway, so if Aaron decides to pick up some stuff or we are generously given stuff, all of a sudden, I get crazy fierce for no explainable reason. I don't want it. I don't like having it. I want to give it away as soon as we get it. In the case of the jet skis, I'm mildly ok with it because I made Aaron agreed that Megan and Christian could use them whenever they want. I know, I have issues, it is not a big deal and I make it into one.

I was crazy fierce with Aaron tonight because he mentioned that if we do move to Texas (which is a slight possibility, he's actually interviewing there right now), that we would have to get a boat. I freaked out. For some reason in my mind, I could rent a boat every day of the year but I don't want to own one. Because somehow owning one means I like having toys and that isn't who I am.

I am an anti-packrat. I collect books; everything else is fair game to give, donate, or throw away. Aaron is a collector. He packs, collects, stores, and displays almost everything. We still have his undergrad schoolwork in our office! We've moved it twice! It is completely insane to me. Maybe that's why I'm fierce about stuff. Maybe I'm afraid that Aaron will start collecting stuff if I give into having it...Aaron is not about having stuff...I need to get over this and relax. Good talks. good night.

retarded mom sidebar: I'm taking the girls to get their pictures taken tomorrow. I know it will be an unpleasant experience. I'm taking them by myself. 4 on 1. Those are not good odds. Tears will probably be shed.