i have another opinion...

Morrissey is the Michael Bolton of 80's alternative rock. That's right, I said it. The Smiths and U2 are severely overrated. Can you deal with that?

James Blunt is the current Michael Bolton...you know, the no-talent ass clown.

I love you two, but I'm going to mace you in the face.

Tomorrow is April Fool's Day. As Bryn might say, "I so excited!" Livy and I already got the parents this weekend with a ruthless "The kusches might have to move again" ploy. We had to cut it short because Kusch thought it was too mean. But he is mistaken, it was choice. And the parents laughed with relief. I have many things planned for tomorrow:

• squirtgun wake up
  
• cottonball muffins
  
• saltwater "juice"
  
• taking the girls for a surprise but really just going to the bank (There will be tears on this one. Lauren hates pranks, especially when she thinks it will be a surprise. Sometimes it's sweet to be a mom.)
  
• Crisco Oreos for Aaron to take to work
  
• and a few others I can't reveal at this time. One might involve a baby chick, it might not...Aaron draws the line at live animals...maybe I can fake one...otherwise I'll just have to settle for peeps.
  

Si

mon. So we just returned from Southern Utah. We went to the (literally) growing twin cities of La Verkin and Hurricane, Utah. We went so I could say goodbye (without saying goodbye) to my Grandma Wilson. She is doing amazingly well for only having a few more weeks to live. In fact, you wouldn't even know she was dying, she seems as spry as the last time I saw her.

This weekend, lots of family popped in to "say goodbye." So it was a fun reunion of sorts...although as my aunt or cousins left they would have a cheery face for my grandma and then when we walked them to their cars, they would have tears in their eyes. We would talk about her as if she was already dead and then say "see you soon" since we'll all be back for the funeral.

My parents came down this weekend too. My dad acted weird on and off during the weekend. It was just like how he acted at Grandpa's funeral. I obviously don't know how it would feel to lose parents, but it was weird to watch my father going through it before it had actually happened. When grandpa died, we all knew it was going to happen but we thought we had a few months. Then he came home from the hospital, went to sleep and never woke up. There was no closure for anyone, especially my grandma. This time, everyone has time to have closure with grandma and it is a different weird. This weekend has been a very surreal experience.

On a lighter note: As we drove home, I couldn't decide who had the worst job: Aaron or I. Aaron drove the trip, but I was "on point" handling all children and driver needs. They both suck and are kinda sweet at the same time. I think Aaron got the better end of the stick this round...although it was snowing past Beaver...maybe I'll leave it at a draw. We'll see who wins for the Santa Cruz trip.

I love it. It's the best. It is fantastic.

It doesn't get better than banging your elbow while pulling wet clothes from a washer. Really? really.

Seriously though, I have been so distracted this week, again I just can't multi-task. I've had to wash the same load of kid clothes three times before I finally remembered to stick them in the dryer. And I guess I didn't need to wash them again but my little girls look like wet dogs most of the time, and I wasn't ready for them to smell like wet dogs. Rest assured, the clothes are pipen hot and smell fresh.

I think I'll blame my distraction on changing deodorant. I'm a secret solid girl true and true, but this week I branched out. And look what I get? Distracted chaos. Thanks a lot Degree clinical strength for women...actually it works pretty well.

Chip, I'm going to come at you like a spider monkey.

Too many thoughts. Too many thoughts. First why am I so fierce? Some days I'm like a mangy cat who doesn't want a bath. I know I need it, I JUST DON'T WANT IT. I know it will make me smell better, but I want to get into the bath on my own terms...For example: Aaron's parents just got a boat and so they offered to give us their jet skis. Who doesn't want jet skis? Everyone right? That's why I'm a nutball. It is killing me that we are getting them. I know, coo coo, right? Let me explain my insanely unnecessary ferocity.

First, I'm not into having "stuff." Obviously too much so, because everything accept for my book collection, I can categorize as stuff. But more specifically, stuff is anything a boy desires: jet skis, snowmobiles, boats, large tracts of land, I think you get the idea. Now I don't think it is bad to have these things, they are lots of fun...I guess I'm just afraid of getting caught up into having "stuff" that I shun all forms of it...this also includes woman stuff: jewelry, handbags, etc. But I have loads of double standards and it doesn't even make sense to me. I mean I don't drive a minivan when I probably should. So I'm not an example of living practically. But maybe I feel like I'm counter balancing my impracticality by shunning stuff.

Anyway, so if Aaron decides to pick up some stuff or we are generously given stuff, all of a sudden, I get crazy fierce for no explainable reason. I don't want it. I don't like having it. I want to give it away as soon as we get it. In the case of the jet skis, I'm mildly ok with it because I made Aaron agreed that Megan and Christian could use them whenever they want. I know, I have issues, it is not a big deal and I make it into one.

I was crazy fierce with Aaron tonight because he mentioned that if we do move to Texas (which is a slight possibility, he's actually interviewing there right now), that we would have to get a boat. I freaked out. For some reason in my mind, I could rent a boat every day of the year but I don't want to own one. Because somehow owning one means I like having toys and that isn't who I am.

I am an anti-packrat. I collect books; everything else is fair game to give, donate, or throw away. Aaron is a collector. He packs, collects, stores, and displays almost everything. We still have his undergrad schoolwork in our office! We've moved it twice! It is completely insane to me. Maybe that's why I'm fierce about stuff. Maybe I'm afraid that Aaron will start collecting stuff if I give into having it...Aaron is not about having stuff...I need to get over this and relax. Good talks. good night.

retarded mom sidebar: I'm taking the girls to get their pictures taken tomorrow. I know it will be an unpleasant experience. I'm taking them by myself. 4 on 1. Those are not good odds. Tears will probably be shed.

It's like a koala crapped a rainbow in my brain

So Shari is having a favorite things party with some of her friends and asked all the Birch girls what our favorite things are; it led to a fully entertaining email train. These are some of my favorite things right now:

• An Encyclopedia of Joseph Smith's Teachings (it helps clarify or bring new light on loads of topics)
  
• My fondue pot
  
• Bath & Body's Heel of Approval (I'm slowly nursing my feet back to public viewing)
  
• My blogs (they house my thought vomit)
  
• Balsamic Vinegar and Roasted Red Pepper sandwiches
  
• A gift certificate to Barnes and Noble and a 2-hour break from my kids
  
• This YouTube video: Man Cold
  
• My Cafe Rio recipes
  
• snowboarding in powder (closest feeling to floating)
  
• toe-cap bindings
  
• a mixed slurpee
  
• shmoodies with Aaron
  
• spontaneous dance parties with my ladies
  
• Ava's knock-knock jokes
  
• laying on a beach, sand between the toes
  
• juice (I love it. I am the female Buster.)
  
• tucking my feet under Aaron
  

Things I learned from the Birch 112 and now must try:

• MAC Studio Fix
  
• Pureology Shampoo/Conditioner
  
• Tigi S Factor Smoothing Lusterizer
  
• Artichoke & Jalapeno dip at costco
  
• Caudalie vinosource rich anti wrinkle cream
  
• Big Star jeans
  

Aaron complains that he has to plan all year trying to figure out what I would want for Christmas/Birthdays. Say no more, wink wink, nudge, nudge, ya know what I mean.

yarp

I do not multi-task. I take on more than I can chew, and throw all my balls in the air but I only catch one at a time. Thus my time management issues. Put all the tasks in a column, add a few blank checkboxes and I'm your girl. As a mom, you need to multi-task. I try, I suck at it. Aaron knows this about me, but after almost eleven years of marriage, you would think he would be use to it. The problem is that I over focus; when I am doing something I block everything else out. It was great when I was working, but not so much with the kids. I'm sure that's why Ava and Bryn create so much havoc. They generally find trouble when I'm working on something else. Like Ava spreading oatmeal all over the kitchen when I was helping Bryn and Lauren clean their room. Or I'm writing and Aaron speaks to me and I have to ask "What?" three or four times before I actually hear him. It's completely nuts even to me! I can be looking straight at Aaron, want to hear what he's saying but my brain can not turn off what I was previously working on. I feel awful. And then I try to focus on listening to him but I eventually get caught being absorbed by my other task. Then I feel awful again. I'd like to blame Patsy for this but she can multi-task, so can senior dich. It, unfortunately, is my own brand of crazy.

weekend sidebar: I'm going snowboarding with Aaron and Lauren on Saturday. I can't wait to see her on her board. I also can't wait to try out my new toe-cap bindings. Seriously, the toe-cap is genius, no more numb toes.