Just a scratch, come on ya pansies

So yesterday, I finally went to the doctor. And as I was describing my prolonged monthly lady business to the (woman) doctor, I broke into tears. Like a bawl baby, I couldn't suck them back into my face, they just kept falling and falling. I felt like an idiot. I hate to cry. Hate. It took the doctor off balance because who breaks into tears talking about lady business. I couldn't figure out why I was crying either. Ridiculous. I finally got it together, but it wasn't until I was walking to the car that I realized why I was losing it: I have to know what's going on with me. If I'm wrinkling, so be it but at least I know what it is. But this business could be a ton of different things and I don't like not knowing what's wrong. I feel out of control of myself. Weird, but true.

So I'm having more tests this week and next. Is it seriously? Who knows. Could be cancer, could be nothing. More than likely: my thyroid. Which might explain the mood swing. We won't know till I get the test results.

Wednesday low light: My sister Sunny called today to tell me that Mom was in the hospital. Apparently she had signs of a heart attack, but then they thought it was a blood clot, and then they couldn't figure out what it was and scrambled her to the ICU at Utah Valley with the best cardiologist. Right now they think it is: Atrioventricular reciprocating tachycardia.They're trying meds but if that doesn't work, she'll need some sort of surgery. These are not pleasant Wednesday thoughts. I almost booked a ticket to Utah tonight until my dad told me to stay. We're waiting to see what happens with the meds. Between yesterday and today, I've been a wreck. We'll see what tomorrow brings.