The gum on the railings is not free candy

Morgan is more foul than Bryn. This is how I know:

She loves gum. She isn't picky. All-ready-been chewed gum is the most available to her. Where she has pulled it from:

• Out of the trash in a Wendy's bathroom. (Trash cans are a repository of deliciousness to Morgan.)
• Off of the floor at the BYU bowling alley.
• Off of the tire of our car. That's right. Chewed, then smashed, then gritted with road filth. Perfection.

I told you. Way worse than Bryn.

delicious again Peter

So in my quest for sophisticated casual, I was reflecting on our recent trip to Utah (post coming soon) and I realized I have encounter a said sophisticated casual dining experience...not a restaurant but an item purchased at The Brugge Waffles & Frites (300 S. SLC, across from Pioneer [ghetto] Park). In the blazing hot sun, we had ordered San Pellegrino Aranciata (orange). Delicious and sophisticated. But served in a can. Casual.

I'm definitely on to something.

Lore sidebar: She loves to help me cook. Yesterday we made honey-lime chicken (BBQ) green beans, and low-fat, low-cal lemon bars (to die for). She's decided that now she wants to be a chef.

Entrepreneur sidebar: (I'm full of these ideas.) Chef school in Provo. So the aspiring chefs with good values can study with the best but still surround themselves with great kids. Provo lacks one. I'm willing to take on the challenge. So Venture Capitalists out there: lend me your money and I'll spin you an incredible business plan.

today sidebar: Morgan and Ava woke up with the stomach flu. At one point I was holding two buckets under two retching heads. It is going to be a great day.

of course you do, swan dive.

A new life goal:

To become a lead critic of sophisticated casual dining.

[One of the judges on Chopped had the title and I think it's an achievable absurd goal. How does one define something as sophisticated yet casual? Is it a blazer-and-jeans sorta place? This is something I'm willing to discover.]

My favorite animal is pooppies

I binged again. This time on new books. Nine new books stacked neatly in my to-read book stack. All middle grade.

I watched Bryn mauling the dog yesterday. The dog is good about taking her abuse. But then I realized: this is how Bryn shows love. So I grabbed her and bundled her up in my arms and mauled her. She loved every minute. Of course Lore got jealous and came to rip Bryn from my arms. But Bryn just crawled back for more mauling. I'll need to maul her more often.

Morgan swims! Yesterday we had a break through at the pool. Morgan finally figured out how to hold her breath, float, and kick her feet at the same time. She plunges all over the shallow end (scaring many of the moms coddling their toddlers) and floats till she can't hold her breath any longer. To the untrained eye, you would think she was dead. But then she emerges, takes a new breath and plunges again. So I took her to the deep end, and pulled her off the steps, release her kung fu grip from my fingers and watched her swim 5 feet on her own. At first she freaked. But then we did it for another hour.

Ava in turn is now a dolphin. I won't have to keep an eagle eye on her next year. I'm so close to relaxing pool time, I can taste it.

corn nuts?

I'm binging this week on books. I've shirked more than one duty to read:

• The Ranger's Apprentice books 2 & 3.
• And now I'm half way through The Book Thief. (I've been hesitant to read this gem because I've heard mixed reviews on the writing style. But now that I've plunged in I actually love the voice and the style. Unique and entertaining. I was hooked from the first page.)

Why the binge? Why not? And because I have an itch to buy more books but my to-read pile had to drop a few before I could justify it. Now that there are only 3 books in my to-read stack in the book room, I'm spit polishing my B&N card. Of course I need to get Ranger's Apprentice 4-8 and some others.

I know: Ranger's Apprentice? It's a 100 and 75 % hi-fantasy boy book. But fully entertaining and well written. Great for summer. I'm licking them up.

Oh and this is my new favorite book blog: Bookshelf Porn. The name is offensive but the content is heaven on earth.

corn nut sidebar: we bought some this week at Sprouts. I forgot that corn nuts are yuuuuuumy.

It goes down smooth

Wow what a week. My life is flashing before me and I can barely catch my breath. Family arrived last friday for a whirlwind weekend. A understated recap of the highlights:

1. Grannie Patsies and Pa Pop pops. Cousins of fun and Ry & Christy to boot. Always a good time.
2. Lauren's baptism (technically #1 but I'm writing this chronologically). We got there 30 mins beforehand to find out the font had not been filled. Luckily, the Bishop had a dream that it wouldn't be filled and showed up 15 minutes early. So we moved the program to the Primary room and by the time Lore was ready to be baptized, the font was full...enough--Aaron had to kneel down. Pa and Grandma Patsy did a fabulous job on their talks and I think Lauren felt really special. The highlight for the kids: the watermelon cookies that tasted like hand soap....still, they were all eaten by the end of the weekend.
3. 4 hours of pool fun.
4. Pop Pop playing the piano for Primary on Sunday.
5. Aaron BBQing in a rainstorm that wouldn't relent.
6. Gutter sledding.
7. Ry's Kansas fireworks. The Fiesta is worth every penny--even in the rain.
8. The funnel game times 5 kids. All victims. They know this game. Luke's face priceless but I was filled with guilt for a few seconds.
9. Categories with Ava. She got a face full of water and then she quit the family (for the second time that day).
10. Walking the dog in the rain.
11. Lore and Grannie filling out the baptism book.
12. Geo Caching with the wilsons. Go Halle for finding the bolt.
13. Watching Pa try to cope from all the kid noise. All in all, he was a good sport.

I'm sure there is more that I'm forgetting. It was a great 4th weekend...minus+plus the rain.

We also saw Jenny and kids on tuesday. Love that girl. Love her kids.

And it is official: I've officially publicly but not offensively cussed the dog. She climbs the fence, wiggles through the bars and get out of the yard every chance she gets. We can't even let her out to go potty. She just makes a dash to escape. So the past few days have included a lot of dog sitting which makes me cuss. Aaron is going to set up a shock collar perimeter on Saturday. We don't know what else to do until she's too big to fit through the bars. She's killing me. I've got another day of dog sitting. I'm over the dog. I still like her, but I'm over it.

guilty as charged

I'm a dirtbag. I don't read nienie. I know. Dirtbag. I get the story. Respect. Completely. I just can't get into it. Every time I've clicked on it, I think "really? people love this." I know. I'm a dirtbag. I'll probably be hit by a tornado tomorrow for saying this out loud.

weekend sidebar: So the family comes tomorrow for Lore's baptism. I need to mop and clean the bathrooms but my lazy butt needs another hour. I should probably make Lore's program. I better go. smooches.